rambling rosemarie

It is starting to be one of those days. I decided I wanted some mango with breakfast. All four of the mangoes I purchased were beautiful on the outside and brown on the inside. Next I thought a mushroom and spinach omelet would be nice and it probably would be if I had remembered to purchase mushrooms or spinach. They were on the list that I left on the island in my kitchen when I went to the store.  I never used to need lists so it's no wonder I forgot it. I am having to teach myself to write them. We'll work on taking them with me next.  I do have an app for that and it works great if I remember to use it. Maybe I just need a good cup of coffee? I have a K-cup holder next to my Kreurig, it's pretty handy when you remember to fill it. I went to the pantry,  opened a new box of K-cups and promptly returned it to the cupboard only I'd really opened the fridge and stood there for a moment thinking, "What's wrong with this picture?" I did a fairly good job ...

I won't even pretend that I tried to keep my challenge to myself yesterday. I thought about sleep all day long. I am still sleepy. Today I was headed out the door to run some errands and I heard that pesky voice of my inner monologue asking if my errands were of more import than sitting with the Lord. Even I couldn't answer yes to that one. I put down the list of things I need to do, picked up my bible and sat down at the kitchen table. Today I read Psalm 119. The thing that struck me is how often the psalmist begs God to keep him on the right path. Maybe I need to beseech more and blog less in order to get this discipline I seek. Lord knows trying to do both would be like me trying to walk and chew gum. Still working on it, that's the important part. Usually two failures would mean I quit. Heck, one failure is enough to facilitate my giving up.

Confession: I have failed, but not epically. I have a new computer. It is smarter than I am, which admittedly doesn't take much. I was unable to get it out of the box let alone up and running Sunday, hence no blogging. I wasn't feeling so great but I did get myself to the kitchen table and make myself read and pray. I felt so bad physically that it's hard to say what benefit I received, except that I did it. I read I Timothy and two chapters of Proverbs. What stuck in my mind after reading was Paul telling us the law is good when used lawfully. It made me think of the United States and what we're going through these days. Failed to get to the table on day 6. I failed at just about every endeavor yesterday. Know what I learned? If you fail, get back to it and don't beat yourself up. Repentance is not about punishing yourself or talking smack to yourself about yourself. If I started some self-flagellation, self-condemnation or similar silliness, I would h...

I am exhausted. So exhausted that I actually got a new computer and am too tired to set it up. However, I wanted to let you guys know that I managed day 4. I was up early, my roomie was home and I wasn't certain how that would work for me as I have been reading aloud in the kitchen. Well, our ever faithful Father had me up and at 'em hours before my roomie awoke. Funny how that happened, huh? Coincidence? Not hardly. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go back to bed. It was all Him, or I would have. Today's read was II Thessalonians and a couple chapters of Proverbs. I love the book of Proverbs. It contains some great counsel. When I worked in law enforcement I had Proverbs 17:15 on my locker at work. I am so tired I cannot keep my eyes open so I will leave you with this. I am four days closer to building a good habit in my life. Praise God! It may not sound like much to you but for me it is a record. Proverbs 17:15 15 He who justifies the wicked, and he who ...

This morning it wasn't difficult to herd myself over to the table to begin day two of the 40 day 40 minute challenge. My roommate left for work, I jumped into the shower to freshen up my body and my mind, went into the kitchen, dispensed some French roast from the Keurig and sat down at the kitchen table to begin. I had been praying for a bit when I remembered I hadn't set the timer on the nuke box. Now I had a dilemma. Get up and set the timer or stay and keep going with some uninterrupted worship? It isn't that I want to be legalistic about this endeavor that made me get up and set the timer, it's that I know myself too well. Close enough is good enough is too often my mentality. I could see myself whittling down that 40 minutes to less than a minute in just a couple of days, maybe a week. It was the right decision for me. I found myself asking God some things today that I hadn't realized bug me. Spring is here in Kentucky and I look forward to several eve...

It was blissfully easy for me to get up, get out of bed and begin the first day of my odyssey into discipline. If you believe what I just wrote, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I will sell you; cheap. I wondered yesterday if I mightn't be wrong about this adventure being more than my semi-annual attempt to purge my guilt glands. Several hours after I had posted my blog, I was on to bigger and better things... not really but it's so danged easy to be convinced other stuff is more important. First of all, all that had gone wrong the day before yesterday had been made right after I had posted my self-challenge. Once I did the ridiculously happy dance and praised God over and over again for His mercifully removing two very major stressors from my life and replacing them with major blessings... I found my suspicious Sicilian nature got the better of me. "Oh, nice going God! I probably would have forgotten all about my attempts to regain my spiritual disciplines now that...

Every story begins somewhere. The prelude, the happening and the debriefing all have their genesis. I have been getting ready to write this for years but last night at about 2am I woke up knowing that today would be the day. Initially I thought I woke up because I was in physical pain, so I took inventory as soon as I was aware of my various body parts. Yup, parts of me were painful. I hobbled to the bathroom to take some meds and hobbled back into bed. Soon it was 3am. I was still awake and still unable to get comfortable. I got up again and went back to the bathroom for the next round of medications, surprised that the first round hadn't knocked me out. I have a very low tolerance for drugs and normally drool on myself after taking prescription strength ibuprofen. I dislike starting my day on drugs so I try not to take anything unless absolutely necessary during the wee hours of the morning. By the time it was 4:30am I was willing to take the remaining regimen of chemicals avail...

My life is in need more than new material by Aaron Sorkin. I wish that a little cleverness and some great one-liners could make the sort of difference that might matter in my life. Imagine if sarcasm and wry humor could cure what ails me! I am really good at sarcasm. I know it's not that easy. I delude myself into thinking that there is some quick fix available for me if only I had the money to buy it or the ingenuity to create it. Perhaps what I need is the right person to care enough about me or the right doctor to prescribe the chemical balancing medication. While I am wishing, why not a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and fix me or a lover to hold my hand in just the right manner. . . Anything but getting off my well cushioned backside and disciplining myself to change- especially if that discipline involves confessing that I am hopelessly unable and begging God to change me. I know it's the only efficacious way to change but I just can't want to do it. I am wan...

It would be an exaggeration to say that I haven't any discipline. I manage to pay my bills on time. My dog gets his heartworm medicine every month and I am fairly good at turning off lights when I am not using them. OK, that last bit about the lights is a stretch. In fact, my living room lights are on a timer so I don't have to worry about turning them off. Discipline. I say I want discipline but I keep putting off really working at it. If procrastination could be an Olympic event, I would win gold. No doubt about it. I would like to blame my inability to see a task to completion on my artistic personality, Attention Deficit Disorder or being an absent minded professor type. You know... so busy saving lives and creating formulas that I just can't cope with the mundane chores of life. In fact, my want to is broken for doing just about anything that is good for me. Good for me things cramp my style. I can sit and do nothing all day long. If I try to sit and read my bib...