rambling rosemarie

I hate to be the one to tell you this but it appears that Kristen Stewart is an adulteress. The Twilight star has proven that money and fame don't necessarily coincide with contentment and integrity. Or good acting for that matter, but that's only my opinion. In what Stewart apologizes for as a " momentary indiscretion " she admits to having an affair with Rupert Sanders, the director of the Snow White movie she stars in...which I don't remember the entire title of ... and if it weren't for the fact that every news outlet seems to think her infidelity to Robert Pattinson is front page, hot scoop material, I wouldn't remember Kristen Stewart. I don't know why our culture is so fixated on sin that it isn't enough to wallow in your own but we seem intent to be groupies for others who are swimming in the cesspool. A momentary indiscretion. There are so many things wrong with that statement. The brash Rosemarie wants to say if it's only taki...

After weeks of dry heat we've been treated to a week of steady rain. We needed it. My lawn was the brownest I have ever seen it so the week of rain is bringing it back to life. During the dry spell most of my neighbors lost their gardens. The heat of the sun and the abundance of rabbits turned victory gardens into dust bowls. In Kentucky, people depend on God to send the rain to keep their vegetable gardens alive long enough to harvest. I cheated. I used a soaker hose to keep my three tomato plants, egg plant, bell pepper and chard alive. I couldn't afford to water every day but I did water enough to keep them growing. I was very happy to have the rain come but I knew that it would cause me some gardener's grief and not just in the plethora of weeds that would ensue. I have always had veggies growing in a garden and in California they grew with little or no fuss. You stick them in the ground and know that every couple of days you will probably have to turn the hose on...

January 12, 2013 will be a significant day for me. Unless something radical changes in my life, it will mark the longest time I have ever lived in one place: seven years.  That may not sound very significant to some folks but to me it is huge. Most of my life I have been an urban Bedouin.  I went to two schools in kindergarten, two schools in second grade, a different school for third through sixth grades, a different school district for seventh grade, moved in ninth grade and spent four years going to a high school that was not in my neighborhood.  For every different school or school district I was in there were probably four or five moves. Now you live with your mom, dad and half of your siblings; now you live with your mother's mother; now you live with your father's mother; now you live with your father's friends; now you're back at your grandmother's; now you're back living with your father who has married your aunt.... it was very much like being a piece ...

I read Psalm 31 this morning. It's given me a lot to consider. There are people I admire; people whose character and accomplishments are miles above mine. Those are the people I would like to emulate but often can't get out of my own way or step over my own foibles to come anywhere close. I am not good at being good. There are people who completely confound me. I can't work out what makes them tick. I'd like to poke and prod them a bit until I understand why they do what they do. Curiosity not animosity you understand. We all have our heroes and obsessions. I have always considered social history, crazes and trends a particular fascination. Pet rocks and Oobies were among my favorite phenomenons to ponder back in the 60s and early 70s, especially when juxtaposed with world events. It was apparent to me even then that we have some bizarre herd behaviors. Are you like me in that you enjoy the old musicals? When most kids were watching animated cartoons on Saturd...

I have been wondering what all the talk about The Elephant Room is about. I hang out with folks on the net who are wicked smart theologians and apologists. The kind of folks who don't just know the word patristics, like me, but who are intimately familiar with their writings and can quote them as readily as I quote The Princess Bride or Monty Python. Hanging out with these folks doesn't make me smart nor does it mean I am up on all the things I should be. In fact, in writing this I am about to expose just out out of the loop I have been. Oh well. Here I go anyway. I saw my friend, Lane , post this url on Face Book and was sort of amazed at what I was reading. A Christian being forced to leave a Christian function?What is The Elephant Room? Did I really just read that? Realizing I was completely ignorant about the pachyderm on the premises and not wanting to expose my ignorance, I was tempted to simply read the opinions of my friends on the matter. If I have learned anyt...

Over the holidays I stumbled upon a series that Netflix thought I would like: The Walking Dead (zombie alert, don't click if you're a siss..er... faint of heart). I like science fiction, especially when it flirts so shamelessly with reality that it makes you forget the event you're watching isn't occurring just outside your front door. It's the potential of its veracity that evokes the fight or flight mechanism we all share. I scared the scoobies out of myself watching the first season and as providence would have it, there was a season two marathon on AMC the very next day. Alone on the top of a hill, wind making the nekkid crepe myrtle branches rub on the vinyl siding, I sat transfixed in a sort of HDTV induced sensory overload. You should picture me in my recliner with my Winchester across my lap, eyes wide open and mind on high alert. I didn't really have my rifle across my lap but I kept thinking about getting it. I didn't only because I didn't...

Yesterday I was sound asleep in my recliner. I lost the battle to maintain consciousness while watching a documentary about Kindertransport. A lover of history, I was fascinated. I was also heavily medicated and the medication won. It was a gorgeous day. The young neighbor boy had come over to mow my lawn. The windows and doors were wide open. The birds were chirping. It was pure bliss. We knew we were going to have a weather change. Anytime you have weather in the 70s and a prediction of a drop to the 30s you can bet a severe thunderstorm will pop up. That's why I have a weather alert application on my too-smart-for-me-to-operate cell phone and a NOAA weather radio. There I was, sedated to the point of snoring and drooling, fully kicked back in my recliner and sleeping through not one but two blasts of the tornado siren. Forget the cell phone and NOAA radio. The tornado siren is about a quarter mile from my house and is the sort of alarm they used to warn people of air raids...

In a few short days I will be returning to the place I first launched into adulthood. I dread the journey though I am fairly certain the anticipation of being there is going to be worse than actually being there. At least, I hope it will be. You see, I am a bible believing, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone Christian now. I only briefly toyed at being one when I lived in the town I am returning to. Without understanding the gospel and having a theological clue, the best that you can do is play at being a Christian. I have a lot of history back there that is painful to remember. I am not that young stupid woman any more and I am not anxious to be reminded of stories about what I did when I was. There are things I did, choices I made in the moments of what I had mistaken for passion or principle and now know were nothing more than drunken self-indulgence and hubris, that I regret. I am ashamed of them. Deeply ashamed. I don't want to see people who are expec...

It is a glorious day in Kentucky. The humidity is gone. Mornings are crisp, evenings cool and it is toasty warm during the day. This morning I sat out on my front porch enjoying the birds, flowers and gentle breeze. I took with me an outstanding cup of Colombian coffee and my Voices of the True Woman Movement book. Before I started reading I took a moment to think about my stereotypical idea of the perfect Christian woman. In my mind she is perfectly dressed, perfectly coiffed, and demure. She speaks in dulcet tones and only when she has something encouraging to say. There is no doubt that her make-up is the perfect shade and she uses just enough to allow her to radiate a pleasing angelic glow. Her nails are manicured. Her feet are Barbie-like. She is Jackie O and June Cleaver combined with an encyclopedic knowledge of Scripture and a repertoire that includes a series of perfectly timed, perfectly targeted encouragement statements. She and I look nothing alike. As I inventor...

Ever have someone say something to you that cuts your heart into ribbons and you think you deserved it? Recently someone I love warned me that at times I sound full of vitriol. She was speaking in reference to my passion regarding certain topics, one of them being politics. That gave me some thinking to do. Next a close friend of mine listened to a seminar I gave on hope. She said the material was good but she wondered if I was afraid or tired or if something was wrong. She expected the woman she knew, she expected some humor, some in your face truth and to be uncomfortable because I would make her think. She likes to inspect her presuppositions and be challenged by biblical truth. I blamed the pain I am in and drugs I take. I tried to dismiss it but I have thought about little else since she gave me her criticisms. A couple days ago I read a post on Pyromaniacs and after reading it, placed my tongue in cheek and typed a response that oozed sarcasm. Some poor woman with a twiste...

As I sit here preparing to review Nancy Leigh DeMoss' " Voices of the True Woman Movement A Call to Counter-Revolutio n" I am realizing just what a radical change having a biblical perspective makes in your life. As a new Christian, I would have thrown this book in the trash before bothering to read it. Thankfully I have matured in my faith and wisdom. I no longer dismiss books or people because I assume (even rightly so) that I disagree with their position. I have to wonder what my various groups of friends must think of me now as they read this. Those friends who knew me in high school, those who knew me as a wild young adult, those who knew me in my career at the sheriff's office and/or at the fire department, those are all folks who knew me a feminist and liberal. Truthfully, I have a hard time believing I am a conservative let alone that I am reading books like this one and agreeing with the premise. Becoming a woman of faith is easy if you don't f...

For those of you praying for my long awaited check to arrive, it has. For those of you praying for my spiritual health, sense of humor and general well being, please continue. As I said in an earlier post my distress is so not about the mail... it was just the vehicle God used to show me how desperately I need His grace and mercy and to remind me that sanctification isn't painless.... lest I forget when counseling others.

I follow Dr. Albert Mohler on Twitter. He has a keen eye seeing things clearly, especially when it comes to culture and its effects. One of his tweets was about a young woman in a graduate counseling program at Augusta State University being challenged to silence her views on homosexuality and gender identity. Here is the story Dr. Mohler linked to his tweet. I dropped out of college as a young and foolish woman. I pursued a career in public safety and since I did not want to be a cop, (I don't have the temperament. I figured if you run from a cop you're guilty of something awful and shooting you to stop you is probably going to keep you from hurting someone. I have mellowed with age. ) I didn't think there was a major I could use to help me in my pursuit. Like I said, I was young, foolish and without good counselors. I had a great career that paid well but when I was no longer able to work due to injury, I had thousands of dollars of specialized training and no for...

As a counselor I have determined that when God puts me in a position to teach on a subject it's a sure bet that the topic is going to be an area I most need some soul work. I have been studying fear and anxiety for the past several weeks and it has been invaluable to me, both in equipping me as a counselor and equipping me for life. You cannot study anxiety and fear without studying their remedy, grace. God's cleansing grace found only in Jesus' atoning sacrifice. The grace extended to believers on a moment by moment basis is the balm for our souls but we too often don't recognize it. We think deliverance from fear and anxiety should look like deliverance from trial and suffering and dark things that bump our souls. "It is good to understand that Christ's service never did secure a man from all the ills that flesh is heir to and never will. If you are a believer, you must reckon on having your share of sickness and pain, of sorrow and tears, of losses an...

I want to depart from what is normal for me to blog or talk about. I want to talk about feelings. My feelings. Normally I would rather eat dead frogs than talk about feelings, especially my feelings. If you know me, I don't trust you. The random folks who happen upon my blog by google or providence I don't give a rip about. They can't hurt me. It's you who know me that scare the life out of me. Your words, spoken or un, have the ability to hurt me in a way too personal to avoid. I don't want you to have that power over me. I have always thought that there was something special about me. Something that nobody cared to find out. I like going on treasure hunts in the souls of others. I see gems and I see the dross but the gems are what I am looking for... they are the reason to go deep with someone. I have longed for someone to want to go deep with me and help me find those tiny gems I am fairly certain are in there. That's the special thing I am talking a...

Just in case my two or three readers think that I am out of line when I say that high self-esteem is dangerous, please take the time to watch this interview on Good Morning America. The recent horrific shootings in Alabama on the Huntsville campus prompted a look at the suspect, Amy Bishop. During the interview with an expert on profiling, Dr. Michael Welner, Bill Weir asks about the differences between men and women who commit mass shootings / murders and the expert finds a commonality: high self-esteem. Do I think everyone with self-esteem will commit a mass shooting? No. But the sinful preoccupation with yourself and your accomplishments, abilities, wants and desires does lead to having less regard for everyone else. That is dangerous. Any of us are capable of the most heinous sins imaginable when given the right set of circumstances and provocations. Thinking more highly of yourself than you do others lowers your threshold of tolerance making the likelihood of hurting ...

I read an article in our local paper about a scholarship program that is being offered to the young people "in the foothills of Appalachia." The program is called Tandava. Tandava is the dance of the Hindu god, Shiva. Shiva dances a rigorous dance that results in both the creation and the destruction of the world. My grandmother was right. This world is going to hell in a hand basket. What she didn't tell me was that Shiva was going to dance to make it happen. The program's objective is to build greater confidence and self-esteem in area youth. The founders of the program say this is necessary to help our students compete with other students from bigger schools in the state and across the nation. The article defines tandava as a Sanskrit word meaning 'entering the great dance of life with skill and poise.' Skill and poise are good things and have absolutely nothing to do with self-esteem. Confidence comes with mastery and clear understanding. Pois...

When I am studying something that bothers me, I do just about anything I can to stall. In doing so I stumble upon a lot of odd information. I love history and any student of history will tell you that most everything we are familiar with has had an odd beginning. Sometimes there will be different odd stories regarding the genesis of a myth, folkway or idiom. Somewhere in the mix the truth can be found. You just have to look. While I lived in Australia I went to a visit a little town on the Murray River called Echuca. Echuca has a wonderful history and boasts the largest collection of paddle steamers in the world. It also has a coach house and carriage museum. It was during my visit to the carriage museum that I was told the origin of the expression to 'drop off to sleep.' According the docent, the carriage cheap seats were the ones outside and on the back. You had a platform to sit on and a rope or rail to hang onto for dear life. During a long trip a poor unfortun...

A young scientist wanted to help people with disabilities and decided to do some research on the effects of various disabilities by engineering some experiments with frogs. Randomly a frog of average size and good health was selected and placed on an X painted on the floor. The scientist stood behind the frog and used persuasive means to get the frog to jump. "Jump! Frog, Jump!" The frog jumped, the scientist measured and then recorded the distance the frog jumped. The initial jump was 25 feet. Next the scientist took the frog and surgically amputated his right front leg and following the exact same formula compelled the frog to jump. "Jump! Frog, Jump!" The frog jumped and the distance once again was recorded. "Right front leg amputated, frog jumped 20 feet. And again the experiment was repeated. This time the frog's left front leg was surgically removed and the distance he jumped was 15 feet. And thus the experiment continued until all four of ...

I was spending time on IRC (Internet Relay Chat) this morning and found myself listening in on a couple conversations. I had changed my nick to indicate that I was off being good and cleaning my house. I wasn't really communicating with anyone as much as I was eavesdropping. I spend a lot of time in the IRC chat channel that belongs to James White of Alpha and Omega Ministries. James is an apologist, scholar and fractal artist extraordinaire. I have been participating there for years... as in 10 or more. I have learned a great deal from him either by reading his books, blog or listening to his debates and youtube material or by sitting in the chat channel and partaking of conversations. It's important to me to stress that I have learned a great deal and am absolutely grateful to God for the fellowship and instruction I have received there. What I am about to write is in no way to be construed that I am criticizing the medium nor am I criticizing Dr. White and the chan...