rambling rosemarie

I watched this video and so many things jumped into my mind. Listen to the conclusions the speaker, Eric Whitacre, has to say about the human need to connect, using any method possible. Our hearts do long to be connected. We want to be known and to know others. We want fellowship. Without it, we get a little crazy and are willing to compromise our own safety and integrity to manufacture a sense of being connected, even if it is false.

My oldest girl is turning 30 in a few days. I don't know where she is or what she would like to do to celebrate. I thought we would be past that stage by now and we're not. There are some expectations I had when I agreed to raise two of my sister's children that have been met and some that have not. I expected it to be very difficult on them to be separated from their other siblings. I would have raised all 5 kids if it had been up to me, but it was not. I knew how that would make them feel disconnected and disposable, because I wasn't raised with any of my siblings either. I always felt left out and unimportant. I knew that they would be confused by the differences in their former lifestyle and the new one I would impose. I worked for law enforcement and went to church each week. That's not something they were exposed to before coming to live with me. I knew that I had not been given shiny examples of loving parenting and would fall short of their true n...

Recently I had a conversation with my friend and brother in the Lord, Mark, or johnMark as I know him best. Mark has a blog worth reading and you'll find it here . In our conversation we talked about writing styles and Mark complimented mine. We chatted a bit about writing and I realized that while he envies my wordsmithing, I envy his discipline and tenacity. Mark wants to be a better writer and he works at it. I wish my posts were read by more people and that more folks would comment on their content, but unlike Mark, I am not doing anything about it. So while our envy of one another is mutual, he has the more valuable and desirable skill. I have written before about discipline, or the "D" word. Discipline- dreaded but coveted discipline. I make halfhearted attempts at acquiring it but never get much further than the 'want to' part. If 'want to' isn't converted to action it's pretty useless. Discipline means you actually have to get up...

Here's the thing.... I am sick of the Caner scandal and absolutely done with reading the likes of Peter Lumpkins and his band of inimical associates. I will continue to pray for Dr. Caner's repentance and leave it at that. I am no longer the slightest bit interested in anything but their repentance. (I include Lumpkins and his band of inimical associates and anyone else enjoying this sad state of affairs within God's church.) I am praying for the 'Dearborn Four' though in my opinion of that situation I am conflicted. I am OK with having conflicting thoughts and opinions, God knows every minute detail and the outcome is in His hands. It's His justice I pray for, if that matches the US Constitution, that's incidental. So, what else can I possible write about? About a million other things come to mind, but the chances of anyone reading this unless I tag the post with something scintillating like, Liberty University, Dr. Ergun Caner or Lumpkins I don't...

Last night I had the honor and privilege to present some information to the women of my church. I cannot begin to tell you how much I love and appreciate them. The seminar I did was on fear. God is clever and He had me present the information to them because I needed it. It's not that I don't want to study things for my own benefit and growth, but whenever I do a topical study to teach it, I see how badly I needed it and how much more I have to repent of than I realized. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know. That's a topic I want to return to in another post. I want to talk about the ladies for a moment. They are an incredibly loving group of women. Women who seek God and are teachable. They have gone out of their way to include me and love on me, which speaks volumes of their characters because I am not all that lovable. I am not being self-deprecating here. I am a mix of endearing and maddening qualities like anyone else. What I am telling you is ...

For the last two days I have tried to return to work full time. The first day I made it 4.5 hours and the today I made it 5.0 hours before I was so uncomfortable I had to go home. I still have two places in my largest incision that are open and draining. It hurts to sit and unfortunately that is what I do at work, sit and answer the phone. I am going to the doctor in the morning and hoping that I haven't done something to damage or compromise my healing. It stings my pride to be reminded of my mortality. I don't mean my soul, it belongs to Christ and I trust Him alone to see me into eternity glorifying my God. But here in this between time... this foreign place we are just passing through, I want to be invincible. No, that's not quite what I mean to say because I am invincible in the sense that nothing and no one can revoke my visitor's visa here except God. What I mean to say is that I don't want to be limited by a body that is healing or broken or aging. I don...