rambling rosemarie

....and dirty water came out. I was pretty heavily medicated yesterday and that made it more difficult for me to practice self-control. I have difficulty doing that on a good day, but with inhibitions removed I have found my calling; I am mean. One of my professors once said, "When you squeeze a sponge and dirty water comes out, it's not the pressure that made the water dirty, the dirt was there to begin with." It's really true. It isn't the (prescribed) controlled substances that make me cranky. I am pretty much cranky to begin with. As I sit here today I think I am experiencing a prescription drug hang-over. It's hard to tell, my brain is so fuzzy these days no matter what I am taking. I wish you could see my office. It truly looks like a madman decorated it using a fragmentation grenade and a dust buffalo scatter gun. I believe I took my life in my hands trying to get to the desk. Ever seen "Hoarders?" Consider my office looking like some...

Ever have a place or time in your life when you realize you are all done with something? Whatever fascination you once had with an object, person or habit...you suddenly find yourself unable to understand what your attraction was and you step away. Fatto, rifinito, nient'altro. Done. It's not like the slow progression of phasing something out. I didn't realize the last time I rode my horse that it would be the last time I would ride. That just happened and it saddens me that I knew it was coming and I couldn't do anything about it. This feeling is almost a repulsion. I am having that sort of feeling about nearly everything in my life. I haven't a clue how this might play out or how long it may last. Hopefully I will be able to get rid of a lot of material and emotional baggage. Lord knows I have enough of it. First step? I am getting rid of all the food items that I have and know I have no intention of eating. Things like Hamburger Helper and other packaged food tha...