rambling rosemarie

Really? Am I really sitting here at my computer blogging? I have someone coming over today and my house is in full disarray. I have enough dog and cat hair clinging to the furniture and floors to assemble several more pets. My kitchen is filthy. There are fig trees growing in my sink.  OK, I said that for shock value. The trees are in small pots and they are in the sink because they were just watered, but you get the idea, right?  I should be putting my house in order.  The truth of the matter is I am putting my house in order, my spiritual house is almost always reflected in the way I take care of my home. I need to take a time out, prioritize my life, and the truth is, for all my studying I have been leaving out the doing part. It's all well and good to know the answers regarding what we should do as believers in Christ, but knowing isn't enough.  There is a constant battle we face as believers.  The natural tendency of our hearts is to go to extremes. ...

Things I know about myself... and wish I didn't. I can sit for hours on end watching a movie or chatting with a friend while waxing philosophically about obscure topics. My butt hurts in under 15 minutes when I sit and read my bible. I can still recite the Preamble and the Gettysburg Address. I still know all my lines from being Yente in a production of Fiddler on the Roof. I remember the Pledge of Allegiance and know when the Lords of Leaping and Pipers Piping do their thing in the 12 Days of Christmas. I memorized Isaiah 6 at one time. Now? "In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord, high and exalted seated on his throne, and the train of his robe filled the temple....and something something something and then woe is me for I am a man of unclean lips, something else more too." When I did a post on Tommy Jordan shooting his daughter's laptop after she posted some hateful stuff about her parents on her Face Book wall? I knew what she'd done was wrong ...

I am overflowing with resentment and bitterness. If it were not for that little piece of me that is compliant and listens to His Holy Spirit there is no telling what I might write here today. My face is as red as fire and twice as hot. I am angry. I am hurt. I am disappointed. This is so much more than a fruitless trip to the mailbox. It always is. The situations in life are the context wherein the content of our hearts are revealed. Overdrawn, overwrought, overtired. Overtly defiant. Covertly collapsed. Pay no attention to that woman behind the wall.... I am teaching about the biblical concept of peace in a couple of days. Ain't that a hoot? How long can I throw a pity party while studying God's idea of peace? About .001 seconds. Months ago when planning this I had no idea what series of events were being put in place... things over which I had absolutely no control. But He did. He knew that I would need His peace, His shalom now. His timing is always perfect and ...

I wanted to write about the shameful way Shirley Sherrod has been treated by most of the media. (If you are unaware, read and follow links here , here and here. ) I am outraged that an edited clip of something the woman said decades ago was all her boss needed to force a resignation from her. I wanted to talk about context and growth and how times have changed. I wanted to point out that although I am not a racist or a homophobe, things I said 25 years ago might lead someone to believe I was, simply because the common vernacular has changed and what was acceptable then is no longer considered politically correct. I wanted to write right here and now that I condone neither racism nor homosexuality but think that media is far more dangerous than either of those topics simply because "We the People" tend to believe everything they write or show us. I thought I would like to write a post about how I blame "We the People" for the failures and glories of our natio...

Embellishment. It is in the top three things that set mankind on its backside on the outside of the Garden. My old cowboy friend always told me that before a horse does something, it gets ready to do something. Things line up and then the horse bucks or kicks. Before Adam and Eve fell, things lined up. It took one question put together by the best wordsmith the world has ever known. It probably happened something like this: "Did God really say.... ?" Adam, who was given instructions directly, let the first bit line up when he relaxed his place of leadership and let Eve answer the question or rather let her answer it incorrectly. Eve embellished the answer. She told the serpent not only can't they eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they can't even touch it! That's the next bit that lined up. I think it's important because it is a twisting of what is true and it sounds so dramatic. It sounds as if Eve is an authority on the subject....

It all started when my pastor said one of his favorite words in Greek sounded like "Go Goose Moose." That seemed like a lighthearted start for a sermon, but.... My pastor is preaching through Hebrews. My friend, James White, is also preaching through Hebrews. Coincidence? I think not. I am being double dipped in the truths of God found in Hebrews. Any time you get immersed in double portions of truth you are bound to be convicted. My guilt glands are definitely swollen, and for good reason. My notes from this morning's sermon have a couple of things that weigh heavily on my mind. 1) Complaining is unbelief. 2) Unbelief is evil. Complaining and grumbling are my specialties. The term gongusmoo means to grumble. The kind of grumbling that is under the surface and incessant, like a dripping faucet. Grousing. In Australia we called it whinging. Whinging is not a clear objection that addresses the source of the unhappiness, it's annoying and persistent; more l...

I remember telling my friend, Keith, that I didn't think God really liked me. In fact, I didn't think He cared for me at all. He had no respect for my personality or talents. He didn't want to see me at all what he wanted to see himself in me. I was raging against such a thought. Keith, a pastor and advocate of truly biblical counseling, thought I was finally talking some sense. A rebellious heart and malcontent thrive in a symbiotic relationship. Loathing God is fertilizer for bitterness which grows entwined with immorality and strife in your soul. Keith knew I was no match for the truth and what I was really saying. He knew my heart was screaming; "Help me! I am a Christian and I don't like God!" Have you ever felt that way? Or, are you one of those people I don't understand? You know, the ones who seem to immediately love Him and are pliable and teachable and are happy with being changed. I really don't get people like that. I know they exi...

I worry that my heart is far too fond of sin. I do not hate it as I ought. I have become complacent in my current infirmity, knowing that my flesh will be my constant companion as I wait for my final sanctification. I do long for the final firing and refinement of this vessel, but I don't disdain all sin as I should. I am not saying that I allow myself to dabble in the enticements of the flesh. I guess what I am saying is that all sin doesn't repel or disgust me and it should. Is there ever a time when a professing believer should be indifferent about sin? I have been reading about repentance. If ever there were a topic to read when you're concerned about a lack of passion for righteousness, repentance is it. It can be very convicting. I read something that has given me a bit of a different angle to consider when meditating on repentance. Here it is: " Why do the inhabitants of heaven rejoice over repenting sinners?. . . God does not rejoice in the repentance of sinner...

I was chatting with a friend of mine recently. She was vulnerable and said that she is heartsick over some broken friendships. She has tried to reach out to her friends to restore their relationship and seems to be being ignored. She feels disposable. I know this woman to be a solid believer and a great, loyal friend. It's hard for me to understand how another believer could ignore or become indifferent toward her. It is hard for me to understand how a believer can feign indifference to anyone who is reaching out to them for restoration. Before I type much further, I need to lay some of my cards on the table. I do not know these other friends, nor the circumstances that lead to the conversation I had with my friend. The bible says that the first to tell their story seems right until you get the chance to talk to the other party. I am not judging whether or not there has been an offense. The bible also says when you answer before hearing you are a fool. I am not responding to the si...

Today my pastor preached from Philippians 3:1-11 . He unpacked verse 3 " for we are the {true} circumcision, who worship in the Spirit of God and glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh ,"(NAS) The entire sermon was encouraging and convicting and verse 3 stuck with me. Am I trying to place confidence in my own abilities? Is that the cause of my misery? While considering the possibility, this thought occurred to me. I am always prepared for crisis. I am the one you want to know when the hurricane comes, when the earthquake strikes and when your relational world falls apart. If you need to figure out how to get a mountain moved by noon, I am your girl. Why? There is a mechanism within me that works when everyone else seems to seize up. It is not something I set out to accomplish for myself. It is the way God designed me. I was talking with a group of women at bible study and remarked that I like earthquakes. Now, don't get me wrong, I hate that peopl...

When you squeeze a sponge and dirty water comes out of it, it's not the pressure on the sponge that made the water dirty. The dirt was already there. In the last few days I have been poked, prodded and squeezed, revealing the content of my heart. It's not been pretty. I can offer a lot of excuses to try and rationalize the misery I have been in and most of them would sound plausible. I have been feeling poorly. I have cabin fever. I have not been active in the Body. I have been unemployed, my finances have been stretched.....and the list continues. The reality though is that my flesh has been driving my life. It didn't happen all at once or with an announcement of its intentions. No, sin is an insidious evil and like the San Francisco fog it creeps in looking enticing and mysteriously beautiful . Then, while you are admiring it, it blinds you. Lovingly, God sounds the foghorn and if you're wise, you'll heed the warning before you crash on the rocks. While thinki...

I read a lot of blogs. Today I read a post on Challies blog that ties into my theme of repentance. He posted a portion of an audio of Mark Driscoll speaking to his congregation. You can find that here. Unless you live under a rock or have little to do with Christian blogs, you know that Mark Driscoll and his preaching have received a lot of attention. The whole of Mars Hill Church where he pastors has been under scrutiny. As a matter of fact, I have commented on Mark Driscoll here, which is why I want to comment on what I read and listened to on Challies. The point that Challies seems to be making is that Driscoll's friends, who are men of God, C.J. Mahaney and John Piper, went to Mark and confronted him about sin they saw in his life. Yahoo! I get goosebumps when men (and women) of God act like it! Confrontation is exactly what they should have done. It is the biblical command and standard to which believers are held. All believers, laymen and clergy. I have already pos...

I am an ophidiphobe. Snakes of all shapes and sizes terrify me. I have to admit though that I also have a strange fascination with the creatures. I do a pretty good job of disguising my fear of them though. I have never wanted to admit I am afraid of them because I am certain that knowledge could be useful to my enemies or friends with warped senses of humor. In fact, in what could ultimately be the world's best acting performance I actually held a live rattlesnake to prove that I wasn't afraid. The man who had the snake held the working end, and I held the part that rattled. He was impressed and thought I was cool. What he didn't know is that I went home from that experience and trembled for hours. When I was in kindergarten I walked to and from school with several older children from my neighborhood. I lived with my grandparents at that time and they were not inclined to drive me nor walk the five or six blocks with me. It was a small, rural community in the East...

A while back I posted something on an anticipated big change in my life. God has been laying out a theme for me and each day it becomes more difficult to ignore it. The one constant in all the material I am being sent, in each book I decide to read, and most of the blogs I frequent is repentance. It shouldn't be too surprising to come across the word repentance in the Christian world. It is easy to see there are a lot of people out there who need to repent. Now, I could delude myself into believing that God is bringing this idea of repentance to my attention so I can point out the sins and faults of others. You know, like He is grooming me to be a crusader of sorts . That's it! I am being called to start a new club for super-Christians called "Speck Patrol." Ha! I wish. No, the more I try to wiggle out from under the conviction, the more pressure God is placing on me to re-evaluate my concept of repentance. Not mine alone, but how we as the body of Christ v...

1 Corinthians 13:11 - When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. In my last post I talked about the real damage that children face when they have a parent walk out on them. I thought about it all night- should I have posted it? Would someone reading my post think that I was excusing the children who had been abandoned from having to meet the standard of God's word? Nothing could be further from the truth. My rotten childhood is not the cause of my sin. It is merely the context in which the content of my heart is revealed. Yes, by the world's standards I have every right to be angry, bitter and afraid. I am not measured by the world's standards. I am measured by God's. There is no discounting that my hesitancy to trust people is well deserved. I have come by it honestly. However, being self-reliant and refusing to ask for help when I need it is evidence of my sinful pride ...