rambling rosemarie

I have never kept a single resolution I have made. I think that I fail for several reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I haven't any discipline. Discipline, ugh... the "D" word. I know that discipline is important because the Bible says so. Prov 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. Prov 13:18 Poverty and shame {will come} to him who neglects discipline, but he who regards reproof will be honored. Prov 15:10 Stern discipline is for him who forsakes the way; He who hates reproof will die. (NAS) I know that discipline is important and yet I yield to my flesh and ignore the warnings. Then, in a burst of energy fueled by guilt I will suddenly decide that my undisciplined life must end. At that point I generally set the bar far too high and aim for perfection. I set myself up to fail because there is a payoff in failing. I get to stop when I spoil what could have been a perfect record. That's my pattern;

I have had a fabulous Christmas. My family has been sharing cooties and we're none of us feeling 100%- so we are having an alternate day to celebrate, eat scrumptious food and exchange presents. I am spending my day in gratitude and reflection upon my God and Savior. I am truly blessed but then every day you are saved is a good day, despite the way it may feel. It's been a long time since I have written anything on this blog and that's ok as I have been doing other things that required me to be fully present. I needed to wrestle out some answers and distinguish between my propensity to feel sorry for myself and wallow in depression and those things that should make me miserable. In other words I needed to know if I was having a pity party or if I was miserable because I was in sin. I am not so certain I need to share the details of what makes me miserable but once again, I am glad for the pain because it has caused me to move from the place I was to the place I am now