rambling rosemarie

Confession: I have failed, but not epically. I have a new computer. It is smarter than I am, which admittedly doesn't take much. I was unable to get it out of the box let alone up and running Sunday, hence no blogging. I wasn't feeling so great but I did get myself to the kitchen table and make myself read and pray. I felt so bad physically that it's hard to say what benefit I received, except that I did it. I read I Timothy and two chapters of Proverbs. What stuck in my mind after reading was Paul telling us the law is good when used lawfully. It made me think of the United States and what we're going through these days. Failed to get to the table on day 6. I failed at just about every endeavor yesterday. Know what I learned? If you fail, get back to it and don't beat yourself up. Repentance is not about punishing yourself or talking smack to yourself about yourself. If I started some self-flagellation, self-condemnation or similar silliness, I would h...

I am exhausted. So exhausted that I actually got a new computer and am too tired to set it up. However, I wanted to let you guys know that I managed day 4. I was up early, my roomie was home and I wasn't certain how that would work for me as I have been reading aloud in the kitchen. Well, our ever faithful Father had me up and at 'em hours before my roomie awoke. Funny how that happened, huh? Coincidence? Not hardly. You have no idea how badly I wanted to go back to bed. It was all Him, or I would have. Today's read was II Thessalonians and a couple chapters of Proverbs. I love the book of Proverbs. It contains some great counsel. When I worked in law enforcement I had Proverbs 17:15 on my locker at work. I am so tired I cannot keep my eyes open so I will leave you with this. I am four days closer to building a good habit in my life. Praise God! It may not sound like much to you but for me it is a record. Proverbs 17:15 15 He who justifies the wicked, and he who ...

I wanted to give up 40 minutes of my morning like I wanted to climb the steps of the Scala Sancta on my knees after uncooked grits had been sprinkled on them. I even tried to convince myself based on my lack of want to that sitting down with my bible and doing the challenge would be about as fruitful as performing that ritual or purchasing indulgences. That's how I start rationalizing, neglect discipline and go back to what is comfortable....that life is all about what I want to do and when I want to do it. Next I tried to convince myself that I have some great stuff to listen to and some books about biblical counseling that I could substitute. Somebody must be praying for my success. I relented. Yesterday my pastor decided to tease me about going "Rick Warren" on him. Rick Warren is *so* not on my radar. I had forgotten completely about his 40 day plans for purpose etc. I wonder if pastor will read this and tease me about advocating plenary indulgences? He knows ...

This morning it wasn't difficult to herd myself over to the table to begin day two of the 40 day 40 minute challenge. My roommate left for work, I jumped into the shower to freshen up my body and my mind, went into the kitchen, dispensed some French roast from the Keurig and sat down at the kitchen table to begin. I had been praying for a bit when I remembered I hadn't set the timer on the nuke box. Now I had a dilemma. Get up and set the timer or stay and keep going with some uninterrupted worship? It isn't that I want to be legalistic about this endeavor that made me get up and set the timer, it's that I know myself too well. Close enough is good enough is too often my mentality. I could see myself whittling down that 40 minutes to less than a minute in just a couple of days, maybe a week. It was the right decision for me. I found myself asking God some things today that I hadn't realized bug me. Spring is here in Kentucky and I look forward to several eve...

It was blissfully easy for me to get up, get out of bed and begin the first day of my odyssey into discipline. If you believe what I just wrote, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I will sell you; cheap. I wondered yesterday if I mightn't be wrong about this adventure being more than my semi-annual attempt to purge my guilt glands. Several hours after I had posted my blog, I was on to bigger and better things... not really but it's so danged easy to be convinced other stuff is more important. First of all, all that had gone wrong the day before yesterday had been made right after I had posted my self-challenge. Once I did the ridiculously happy dance and praised God over and over again for His mercifully removing two very major stressors from my life and replacing them with major blessings... I found my suspicious Sicilian nature got the better of me. "Oh, nice going God! I probably would have forgotten all about my attempts to regain my spiritual disciplines now that...

Every story begins somewhere. The prelude, the happening and the debriefing all have their genesis. I have been getting ready to write this for years but last night at about 2am I woke up knowing that today would be the day. Initially I thought I woke up because I was in physical pain, so I took inventory as soon as I was aware of my various body parts. Yup, parts of me were painful. I hobbled to the bathroom to take some meds and hobbled back into bed. Soon it was 3am. I was still awake and still unable to get comfortable. I got up again and went back to the bathroom for the next round of medications, surprised that the first round hadn't knocked me out. I have a very low tolerance for drugs and normally drool on myself after taking prescription strength ibuprofen. I dislike starting my day on drugs so I try not to take anything unless absolutely necessary during the wee hours of the morning. By the time it was 4:30am I was willing to take the remaining regimen of chemicals avail...