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Showing posts from November, 2008

Wing Nuts, Epoxy and the Economy

Ever do something without thinking about it just because you are used to doing it all the time? I know there are some single women out there who will identify with what I am about to say. When you are single you learn to do a lot of things yourself and you don't think twice about it. There is no one to go pick up the dry cleaning for you, no one to take the garbage out and if the toilet seat needs to be replaced, you replace it. You fall into the patterns and cycles of life doing what you can until something upsets your life, like getting old or having emergency surgery.

I found myself in the local Lowe's looking for a new toilet seat for my guest bathroom. Lowe's is like a candy store to me. I get to ooooh and aaaahh over the new appliances and get lots of ideas about what I can do to my home. I was staring at a wall of various sizes and shapes of toilet seats asking myself, "What constitutes a good toilet seat? How do I know? Do I have a comfort preference?" …

Being Grateful

I am grateful for a God who is merciful enough to save a sorry sinner like me. Despite my penchant for making sinful choices, bad attitudes and unkind and harsh thoughts about my fellow travelers, He keeps drawing me and refining me. Had our relationship been left up to me, I would have ditched Him years ago. The shame and guilt for my behavior alone would have been enough to keep me running and hiding from His presence. Instead, He invites me into the Oval Office of the Universe to interrupt Him as he rules over all.

I am grateful for a God honoring, God fearing church family who have demonstrated their love to me in a thousand ways, not the least of which is prayer. I am grateful for a pastor who cuts the Word straight and isn't afraid to confront, correct and encourage.

I am blessed to have my kids, grandson and siblings. We are a motley bunch... we fight regularly and love fiercely, which I think may make us stark raving normal. I have been incredibly blessed with friends…

When God Rejoices

I worry that my heart is far too fond of sin. I do not hate it as I ought. I have become complacent in my current infirmity, knowing that my flesh will be my constant companion as I wait for my final sanctification. I do long for the final firing and refinement of this vessel, but I don't disdain all sin as I should. I am not saying that I allow myself to dabble in the enticements of the flesh. I guess what I am saying is that all sin doesn't repel or disgust me and it should. Is there ever a time when a professing believer should be indifferent about sin?

I have been reading about repentance. If ever there were a topic to read when you're concerned about a lack of passion for righteousness, repentance is it. It can be very convicting. I read something that has given me a bit of a different angle to consider when meditating on repentance. Here it is:

" Why do the inhabitants of heaven rejoice over repenting sinners?. . . God does not rejoice in the repentance of sinners…


I hate that my time is being eaten away by something so necessary as work. I have often suffered from the delusion that I should be doing something far more important than working. Of course I haven't any skills or abilities that would provide the opportunity to be paid for something other than work. I dabble at a lot of things but I am not really good at any of them. So, despite my attempts at being being paid for having fun, I clock in at a normal job. Alas, it is all part of growing up.

"Personal growth and change are not always easy, but they are essential to true humanness. . . . . Everything alive grows. The difference with human beings is that we grow physically and spiritually." - Ed Welch

I am healing from surgery and unless the doctor found something troubling on the CAT scan, I am imagining he is going to turn me loose on my next appointment. By the way.... if you have never had the dubious pleasure of having a CAT scan with contrast....which is doctor speak for…

Repentance and Restoration

I was chatting with a friend of mine recently. She was vulnerable and said that she is heartsick over some broken friendships. She has tried to reach out to her friends to restore their relationship and seems to be being ignored. She feels disposable. I know this woman to be a solid believer and a great, loyal friend. It's hard for me to understand how another believer could ignore or become indifferent toward her. It is hard for me to understand how a believer can feign indifference to anyone who is reaching out to them for restoration.

Before I type much further, I need to lay some of my cards on the table. I do not know these other friends, nor the circumstances that lead to the conversation I had with my friend. The bible says that the first to tell their story seems right until you get the chance to talk to the other party. I am not judging whether or not there has been an offense. The bible also says when you answer before hearing you are a fool. I am not responding to the si…

Monumental Change

God demands change. He ordains it. He causes it. Change is not optional. I know this and yet I cannot keep myself from resisting change. It's really not logical of me because I complain a lot about my circumstances and yet, I complain a lot when they change. I seem to live in a constant state of not knowing what I really want while knowing that I really don't want what I have. God is working on me though. What was that 70s catch phrase from my "Jesus Freak" period? PBPGINFWMY. Please Be Patient God Is Not Finished With Me Yet. Perhaps that was my short lived Bill Gothard period. It was definitely before my, 'study the Word and show yourself approved' period. (2 Timothy 2:15)

I have been asked to give my testimony at our community ladies bible study. God and I have this deal, when I am asked to give my testimony, I give it. It is something I take seriously and put a lot of thought into. I have had a pretty amazing life... the stuff movies on TV are…

Beneficence and Pride Dont Mix

For the last two days I have tried to return to work full time. The first day I made it 4.5 hours and the today I made it 5.0 hours before I was so uncomfortable I had to go home. I still have two places in my largest incision that are open and draining. It hurts to sit and unfortunately that is what I do at work, sit and answer the phone. I am going to the doctor in the morning and hoping that I haven't done something to damage or compromise my healing.

It stings my pride to be reminded of my mortality. I don't mean my soul, it belongs to Christ and I trust Him alone to see me into eternity glorifying my God. But here in this between time... this foreign place we are just passing through, I want to be invincible. No, that's not quite what I mean to say because I am invincible in the sense that nothing and no one can revoke my visitor's visa here except God. What I mean to say is that I don't want to be limited by a body that is healing or broken or aging. I don'…

The Results

And so.... Obama has been elected. Something I was sure would happen the moment Oprah decided to put her name behind him, not to mention her money and influence. He was not my candidate. Someone asked me if I objected to him because he is black. Not at all. I objected to his politics and his lack of discernment evidenced by his politics and personal history. I couldn't care less that he happens to have more melanin than me.

I have heard some comments that astound me about how electing Obama is a step forward for the United States because of the color of his skin. It infuriates me because it is illogical. How can we be going forward and getting beyond racism when everyone is pointing out the color of the man's skin? Nothing has changed but the geography... it's no longer blacks to the back of the bus, it is blacks can sit wherever as long as you are certain to identify yourself as black and anyone that is not black needs to be certain to notice that you are black. What real…

Where are the Flying Monkeys When You Need Them?