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Showing posts from October, 2008

Coffee with Ben Stein

I had what I thought was a brilliant idea and I can't seem to make myself do it. Laziness or the Lord's intervention? I don't know. I have written a note to the doctors who did my surgery. I wanted to tell them how much I appreciate their skill and care, but mostly I wanted to tell them that all the events that took place to bring me to the emergency room were carefully orchestrated by God and that he had chosen them to be the tools He would use to save my life. I want to encourage them that their sacrifices to become surgeons have been an excellent way to use the skills and abilities God has given them. Here's the idea I had.... I wanted them to see how many people's lives they touch when they operate on someone. I thought I would ask all the folks who care about me to write to them and encourage them by saying thank you. I want it to be completely about the doctors and not me, but I can't seem to solidify or carry through with this idea. I would reall…

Not for the Faint of Heart

I was blessed today. Two women from my church came over and cleaned my house. They came in with their own supplies and dusted, vacuumed and polished. It was a humbling and delightful. They even brought me some delicious chicken salad with yummy grapes and nuts in it and let me tell you, it is tasty stuff.

Just before they arrived my home health nurse came and checked my wound. It is looking better, praise God for antibiotics, but it is still open and oozy in a couple of places. While the two lovely women from my church went from room to room blessing me, my nurse decided it would be a good time to begin preparing me for the next stage of wound dressings and recovery. I think she was hoping I wouldn't create a scene with company there.

Currently each day I pull out about an inch of packing material from each open wound and cut it off and throw it away and then redress the top of the wound with gauze. It's quick and painless though somewhat gross. Think of a cross between exc…

Continuing to Come Undone-But Learning to Ask the Right Questions

I found this gem at my friend Turretinfan's blog. It is well worth the time to watch it and it is exactly what I need to hear given my current state of mind. Our God is so economical. He weaves everything together so perfectly. What a 'coincidence' that I should find this clip now. The man speaking is Voddie Baucham and you can find out more about him here.

Coming Undone

My home health nurse came to check on me today and she didn't like the looks of my wound so she called my doctor's office. My doctor wanted to see me immediately. Today it rained for the first time in a long time. This was my first adventure driving since my surgery. Ever diligent about safety, I got into my car and while still on my driveway I made certain I could stomp on the brakes and turn my steering wheel sharply before I would drive the 8-10 miles to the hospital where my doctor's office is located. But this story isn't so much about going to the doctor or the state of my wound. It is more about the state of my heart and emotions.

The doctor repacked my open wounds and redressed them. He also put me on antibiotics and then sent me home with instructions to see him in a week unless of course I had any trouble or the nurse wanted me seen earlier. Somewhat relieved that he didn't want to throw me back in the hospital, I filled the new prescription and headed ho…

The Coveted "Mona" Award

My friend Vicki has what I would call a unique sense of humor. She sent me this pillow saying:

"Just wanted to give you a heads up that I have sent you something. It needs no introduction....I think you will get the drift when you open it. You have earned it...very few people earn these, but you definitely did."
When I wrote her to say thank you and that I laughed my steri-strips off, she responded with: "You do remember that the ONLY other person to earn THE PILLOW is my mom????? Display it with pride, my dear!!" Vicki's mom, Mona is almost a bionic wonder. She has endured more surgeries and maladies than anyone I know and keeps right on with life as usual. You can find Mona in the kitchen fixing dinner after shoulder surgery. She's that kind of woman. I am pleased to accept the award so long as I don't have to keep up with your mom, Vicki. She may have 30 or so years on me, but I am no match for her!

A New Look

I know, you're asking yourself, "When did Rosemarie get so computer savvy?" Rest assured, I am still a computer idiot. I do, however, have friends who are not and who happen to be generous with their time. This new look is brought to you courtesy of Hobster, who has a pretty splendiforous blog of his own you can read here.

A new look for a second chance. I am liking it. Thanks Hobster!

The Details

I have had several people ask me how my 'near death' experience started and it is a fair question so here are the details as best as I can remember them.

I had been feeling poorly for a long time. Most of it was what I thought came with being overweight, under-exercised and over fifty. The last couple of months I have been miserable with allergies. My allergy meds made me sleepy and I was already exhausted. I thought it was normal to be this tired because I had gone from not working to working full time and doing a lot of training. I thought my allergies had morphed into a sinus infection or something creepy and my throat was sore. I had lost my voice and couldn't work. Since I was still on probation at work, I needed to see a doctor and have a doctor's excuse for not being at work. So, on Thursday I went to the local walk-in clinic.

The clinic doctor came in and looked me over and said, "You look like you may have strep throat. You feeling miserable?" …

More Thoughts on Recovery

I went to the doctor yesterday for a follow-up to my surgery. My doctor walked into the exam room, shook my hand and sat down and scrutinized me. His gaze held mine and I finally asked, "Are you just going to stare at me?" He smiled and said, "Yes, for a while. Is that alright?" After a time he said, "Wow, you really look good." To which I responded, "I feel really good. " Sheepishly I told him, "I probably look much better than the first time you saw me." We exchanged smiles for a moment then he got up and started his exam. He said something that made my head spin, "You were a dead woman on that table in the ER."

As I lay on the exam table I was lost for anything meaningful to say. I think I managed something close to, "I am very appreciative and glad to be alive." How lame is that? Of course, that's not what I really wanted to say. What I really wanted to tell him was that I believe in the absol…

Recovering

It's a slow road to recovery, but each day I feel a little better. I am trying to focus on the providence and mercies of our God as I continue healing. I so appreciate the prayers that have been offered to our Father on my behalf. I get a visit from my home health care nurse tomorrow and hopefully she will give me a good report. Monday I hope to see my surgeon and begin having the staples removed.

For now I wish to focus on this second chance to serve God. I read this today and I am asking that God brand it in my heart- that I should be drawn to Him like a needle to a magnet.

Love is an expansion of soul, or the inflaming of the affections, by which a Christian breathes after God as the supreme and sovereign good. Love is to the soul as the weights to the clock, it sets the soul-a-going towards God, as the wings by which we fly to heaven. By love we cleave to God, as the needle to the lodestone.-- Thomas Watson

Incarceration: My Unauthorized Absence

I have been absent because of an incarcerated/strangulated umbilical hernia which tried to kill me and for which I needed emergency surgery. The story is a great one of God's providence and care for me. It has done much to increase my gratitude for the simple blessings of life and I hope to blog all about it later. Right now I am exhausted and need to spend time mending. I was 4 hours in surgery, 5 days in ICU, 3 days more in the TU and have been home for about 24 hours. I need more rest and more time to reflect. I do not want to lose the significance of this blessing in my life. I don't want to go back to life as it was before. I want to retain this appreciation for my insignificance and my utter dependence on Him. As my physical strength returns I don't want to my faith to diminish. That and the risk of infection are my two greatest obstacles if God should lead you to pray for me.

Sympathy vs Empathy

As I sit alone in my home, feeling poorly because of whatever cooties are coursing through my body, I realized I was having a pity party. Feeling sorry for yourself is such a useless endeavor and yet we always seem to go there as if it is a profitable enterprise. We know we will not derive the tiniest bit of benefit but we go there. Why? Because, "Ah! It hurts so good!'

You know how your mind sort of skips around when you're feverish? Like you cannot quite hold on to a cogent thought but you can't keep yourself from thinking? Perhaps I am the only one who suffers from this phenomenon, but when I am feverish my mind whirls and skips in slow motion. I decided I would try to concentrate on something profound rather than feel sorry for myself. Here's what I came up with.

One of the books I am reading is "The Heart of the Cross," by John Montgomery Boice and Philip Graham Ryken. It's a small book and an easy read but it is packed with things that my hear…

I should have known....

I am sick. Not quite 'Nearer my God to Thee' sick, but sick enough to be miserable. I went to the doctor for a flu shot and she said, "Uh...no. You're sick. Your throat looks wretched and I want to do a strep test. You have a fever." So much for a prophylactic injection of weak flu cooties to keep me healthy. I was a day or too late. If I survive this, (which I will but I am just that miserable as to wish that I would not) I can come come back to Dr Betsy and get some shots to prevent flu and pneumonia. You know what? It's a sign of getting old when they want to give you a pneumonia shot.

I have decided I am too miserable to write. Well, at least too miserable to be trusted to write something that is edifying. I did watch the debate between Governor Palin and Senator Biden. I wasn't overly impressed in either direction. This election isn't going to be about making a good choice, it is going to be about making a better choice. I am still vot…

Our Economic Crisis

A friend of mine sent me a link to a YouTube video and said I should watch it. She always gives me something to think about so I happily sat down with my coffee and clicked THE LINK. She was right, it gave me a good deal to think about and google. I hope it will do the same for you. I couldn't figure out how to embed this particular video or I would have.

Hope your Google fingers are ready for a workout!

Thoughts on Clam Chowder, Frogs and Crabs

When I am fixin' to be "Nearer My God to Thee" sick, I crave clam chowder. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. It's not a comfort food because I am the only one in my family that likes it or makes it as far as I know. Apparently at the age of about 3 I collapsed in my mother's lap and told her I could prolly die if I didn't get some "clamp chowder." I have also been one of those people whose body temperature goes from 98.6 to 104 when I am sick. If you see me shopping for clams and clam juice, better go the other way as I am probably contagious.

Tonight as I was driving home from work I started craving soup. My first thought was that it is a cool night and I am tired. A can of soup would be easy and not too awfully bad for me. Then I started noticing a tickle in my throat and I began to wonder, "Am I getting sick?" I am not off probation yet, I don't want to be sick. It's not authorized for me to be sick for an…