rambling rosemarie

In a few short days I will be returning to the place I first launched into adulthood. I dread the journey though I am fairly certain the anticipation of being there is going to be worse than actually being there. At least, I hope it will be. You see, I am a bible believing, saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone Christian now. I only briefly toyed at being one when I lived in the town I am returning to. Without understanding the gospel and having a theological clue, the best that you can do is play at being a Christian. I have a lot of history back there that is painful to remember. I am not that young stupid woman any more and I am not anxious to be reminded of stories about what I did when I was. There are things I did, choices I made in the moments of what I had mistaken for passion or principle and now know were nothing more than drunken self-indulgence and hubris, that I regret. I am ashamed of them. Deeply ashamed. I don't want to see people who are expec...

Emotions are tricky things. Just when you think you've figured them out, they set you spinning in another direction entirely. I've said it before. We need to be suspect of our emotions. Jonah slept peacefully in a boat going the opposite direction from where God had just directed him to go. David was overcome with his desire or perceived need of Bathsheba and as a result the sword never left his house. Elijah challenged 850 priests of Baal but then ran in terror from Jezebel. Paul felt justified in his zeal for Judaism and executing Christians until Jesus stopped him on the road to Damascus. In his book, When People Are Big and God Is Small, Ed Welch makes some great observations. Here's one of my favorites. "The rise psychological needs was inevitable: If you exalt the individual and make emotions the path to truth, then whatever you feel most strongly will be considered both good and necessary for growth. Whatever you feel most strongly are seen as your God-giv...