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Showing posts from October, 2007

It's happening again.... depression wants back in

It seems I can't catch a break. The minute I begin to move toward something different, the old voices come back and see what sort of havoc they can create. No, I don't actually hear voices. I am talking about the inner monologue that plays inside my head and tells me what a failure I am...at everything.

Frankly, I wish the voices were telling me to paint the walls with spaghetti or to shop naked at WalMart. I would recognize that dialog as just plain nuts. Instead they take inventory for me. They point out every failure, every hope that was dashed upon the rocks, every bad idea and every shameful moment I have spent. They sound quite reasonable because they are partially based in truth. Can I get an amen from someone? Or are you going to pretend that it doesn't happen to you?

Bob Bennett wrote a song a while back. The first time I heard it I thought "That's it! He nailed it!" The song is titled "Lord of the Past" and the lyrics are here. As mu…

Deciding to Blog.....again.....

I have decided to blog again. Why? Because I don't do anything else. This isn't the first time I have decided to blog. If you have stumbled on this website, don't worry. I will soon lose the desire and discipline to continue at this. It takes work and discipline. Discipline... the dreaded "D" word. Perhaps that will be a topic I will tackle in a post. It's more likely that I will think about it and not actually do anything. I seldom do things I think about doing. Even good things.

How do I spend my time? I read blogs. There are several that I really enjoy reading. There are some that I read with a little fear and trepidation, some that make me wonder why I bother and still others that make me think "I should blog." Why though? Nobody has read my blogs even when I did write them. OK, nobody may be over stating things. Very few people have read my blogs. Why should they? I haven't written a book. I am no one of import, I do not have a r…