Choices, Habits and 'Oh Face' Moments

It's not fair but choices you make when your 14 affect you when you're 40. I say it's not fair because what in the world do you know about life when you're14? Certainly not enough to make good choices. Your brain isn't even fully developed and connected when you're fourteen. Doctors say that happens around 20.

I remember counseling one young man who was in his senior year in college. He was having a bit of a pity-party about how difficult life is and how unprepared he was to make the decisions ahead of him. Career, marriage and everything else that was coming his way left him feeling overwhelmed and I couldn't blame him. Not really. He had a lot of book knowledge and not a lot of practical skills.

As we discussed his options I told him that two hundred years ago he would have started college at the age of 14 and could read and write in at least three different languages. It would be a privilege to go to college because it would mean not having to apprentice at a job requiring hard labor. Not only that but if I threw him out in the acreage behind the college he would have been able to build a shelter and forage for food without using his father's credit card or going to Burger King. I asked him what he thought the difference was between the 14 year old 200 years ago and the 22 year old man he was. He thought for a long time and then said softly, "I have never worried about my survival.... I have been given everything." That was an "Oh face" moment. You know the look of knowledge that comes over someone as they say "Ohhhh" and they see something clearly for the first time. As a counselor, I live for 'Oh face' moments.

I had my own 'Oh face' moment today. I hobbled out to get my mail and I saw an envelope with a return address I didn't recognize. The envelope had a computer generated address label on it and it looked like some cheesy graphics on computer paper. I immediately thought I was being solicited for donations and wondered who wanted me to give them some money. Boy was I surprised to find that an older couple from my church had sat at their computer and made me a get well card.

Suddenly I was touched at the time and effort that they would put into personalizing a card for me. I was also ashamed of myself. So ashamed that I didn't want to go to church and see this lovely couple for fear there would be a neon light shining above my head flashing "She is so cynical and jaded she thought you wanted money from her." It has become very clear to me that God has placed me in this family of believers to teach me how to be loved. I am not very good at it.

The choice that I made as a child to keep everyone at arms distance isn't serving me well at 50. It makes me wonder what other habits I have that aren't serving me well. God made us creatures of habit and when our habits are good it works for us. When they are bad, it works against us. I wonder what else is lurking under the surface that I need to deal with? I will leave it to Him to show me.

Daniel 2:22 22 "It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him. (NAS)

Super Church a song for the Emergent-sy

In the early 70s I was in a youth choir at my church. Our youth pastor was a musician and his way of connecting with us as a group was through the choir and music. Somehow there was an affiliation between him and The Continental Singers, New Hope and Jeremiah People. He was worked with Moishe Rosen of Jews for Jesus too, I think. Are any of these names familiar to you? Though I remember the church fondly I was a profoundly lost and troubled young woman during my years there. That and time have muddled the memories quite a bit. Today I was digging through some old paperwork and one of the books to the musical we did. It's Getting Late For the Great Planet Earth, a folk rock oratorio by Cam Floria. Yes, that's right. Cam Floria put Hal Lindsey to music. There's a lot to laugh about and some to groan about but as I was looking through the songs and remembering, I found this little ditty and I only wish I could sing it for you. Just remember that this is circa 1972 and even th...

It's all part of growing up

Today is my birthday. I am 51. I have officially lived longer than my mother. I have survived several major earthquakes, three fires, five floods, uterine cancer, having my infant body burned by percolating coffee and a childhood from hell. I have been stalked by a madman, been asked to be interviewed for the Australian version of 60 Minutes, received a bronze medal and helped foil a kidnap attempt of a celebrity. In my short 51 years, I have had an incredible life. I was asked by a former student what advice I would give a 30 year old that I have come to value now that I am in my 50s. The list of things that I value now that I didn't value then and vice versa is huge. Since my current topic is discipline, I would have to say that I wish I had cultivated discipline at an earlier age. Much earlier than my 30s. I wish I had learned the difference between need and want sooner. I have tried too hard to fulfill wants as if they were needs. The want vacuum just moves, it doesn...

Be yourself- don't waste your blog...

So... I read an article on my friend, Carla's blog . I have written about her on my blog before and have recommended her before. In this particular post she talks about one blogger's vision for a directory of Christian bloggers to help promote accountability. Which, on the surface sounds all good and 'Christianly' but Carla has reservations. Then I read the comments for her article and Steve Camp of Camp onThis fame has responded. I have also recommended his blog a number of times. For those of you who don't want to click the links, this is a brief synopsis. Some guy wants to have a Christian bloggers directory for accountability purposes, Carla questions the need since accountability begins in the bloggers local church, and she fears it will set up a click of bloggers who are "in" and those who are "out." Steve drives the point home and signs his comment "Don't waste your blog..." That's the part that has me spinning....

rambling rosemarie

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