Choices, Habits and 'Oh Face' Moments

It's not fair but choices you make when your 14 affect you when you're 40. I say it's not fair because what in the world do you know about life when you're14? Certainly not enough to make good choices. Your brain isn't even fully developed and connected when you're fourteen. Doctors say that happens around 20.

I remember counseling one young man who was in his senior year in college. He was having a bit of a pity-party about how difficult life is and how unprepared he was to make the decisions ahead of him. Career, marriage and everything else that was coming his way left him feeling overwhelmed and I couldn't blame him. Not really. He had a lot of book knowledge and not a lot of practical skills.

As we discussed his options I told him that two hundred years ago he would have started college at the age of 14 and could read and write in at least three different languages. It would be a privilege to go to college because it would mean not having to apprentice at a job requiring hard labor. Not only that but if I threw him out in the acreage behind the college he would have been able to build a shelter and forage for food without using his father's credit card or going to Burger King. I asked him what he thought the difference was between the 14 year old 200 years ago and the 22 year old man he was. He thought for a long time and then said softly, "I have never worried about my survival.... I have been given everything." That was an "Oh face" moment. You know the look of knowledge that comes over someone as they say "Ohhhh" and they see something clearly for the first time. As a counselor, I live for 'Oh face' moments.

I had my own 'Oh face' moment today. I hobbled out to get my mail and I saw an envelope with a return address I didn't recognize. The envelope had a computer generated address label on it and it looked like some cheesy graphics on computer paper. I immediately thought I was being solicited for donations and wondered who wanted me to give them some money. Boy was I surprised to find that an older couple from my church had sat at their computer and made me a get well card.

Suddenly I was touched at the time and effort that they would put into personalizing a card for me. I was also ashamed of myself. So ashamed that I didn't want to go to church and see this lovely couple for fear there would be a neon light shining above my head flashing "She is so cynical and jaded she thought you wanted money from her." It has become very clear to me that God has placed me in this family of believers to teach me how to be loved. I am not very good at it.

The choice that I made as a child to keep everyone at arms distance isn't serving me well at 50. It makes me wonder what other habits I have that aren't serving me well. God made us creatures of habit and when our habits are good it works for us. When they are bad, it works against us. I wonder what else is lurking under the surface that I need to deal with? I will leave it to Him to show me.

Daniel 2:22 22 "It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him. (NAS)

Spiritual Aphasia aka Senseless Theology

I was recently asked why I read theology and follow theological debates. "It's all just words and opinions." Words. Words on a paper, words on a blog. Words that travel invisibly through our airwaves and our minds. What would our inner monologue consist of without words? Harsh words, gentle words, untrue words, and solid you-can-die-behind them words. They have secret lives in the depths of our souls. They overflow in torrents of grief and joy. They seep out of our character flaws, wearing down the weak convictions that hold them back until they contaminate all those around us. All of us are stained within and without by the raw sewage of unkind words. Our souls are in jeopardy for want of The Word. Jesus Christ. The Gospel. The Good News. Words matter. Doctrine matters. Theology Matters. What you win them with is what you win them to. I study theology because I was lost too long in a world that scrambles truth with its own ideas and preferences. I was fed a diet of tosse

Super Church a song for the Emergent-sy

In the early 70s I was in a youth choir at my church. Our youth pastor was a musician and his way of connecting with us as a group was through the choir and music. Somehow there was an affiliation between him and The Continental Singers, New Hope and Jeremiah People. He was worked with Moishe Rosen of Jews for Jesus too, I think. Are any of these names familiar to you? Though I remember the church fondly I was a profoundly lost and troubled young woman during my years there. That and time have muddled the memories quite a bit. Today I was digging through some old paperwork and one of the books to the musical we did. It's Getting Late For the Great Planet Earth, a folk rock oratorio by Cam Floria. Yes, that's right. Cam Floria put Hal Lindsey to music. There's a lot to laugh about and some to groan about but as I was looking through the songs and remembering, I found this little ditty and I only wish I could sing it for you. Just remember that this is circa 1972 and even th

What if.....

...what if I just need a place to let some words spill out? What if they spill out in bouquets of bright colors and pleasing scents but their frames are made of snakes and lies? Will you the reader be able to tell? Will it matter? When words smell like lilacs and honeysuckle do you care what lies beneath them? Perfumed syllables cover the stench of hope's decay. A violet or two will fool most surface dwellers, allowing them to pass by quickly and unaware. Is that what words are supposed to do? What if my aesthetics with words are similar to Morticia Addams' with flowers? What happens when luscious blooms are discarded? When the ragged silhouette of thorns is all that remains will you still see the beauty? Perhaps we'll find out.

rambling rosemarie

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