26 March 2008

Books, DVDs and Fear

I am not feeling very good. I think I have picked up the virus that has been going around. Lucky me. Normally when I don't feel well I have some ritual behaviors I indulge myself in. I make Lipton Chicken Noodle soup, drink Seven-Up and watch my favorite dvds. Band of Brothers is on the top of that list. I know, women aren't supposed to like war movies. I am not like most women. Band of Brothers is one of the finest productions I have ever seen. I get thoroughly involved with the characters and my favorite parts are the interviews with the actual men the story is based on as they recall what it was like.

Today I decided it was too much work to change the dvds. I have been dvr'ing the series John Adams that HBO has running now. I have watched the first three episodes and am looking forward to the last four. I am going to be sad when it is over. I think I would like to read the book. Ah... so many books, so little time. Speaking of time, it's time for a confession. It bothers me that I don't approach the things of God with as much enthusiasm as an opportunity to sit and watch John Adams or Band of Brothers. And... it should probably bother me more than it does.

I am currently reading Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate, by Jerry Bridges. My friend, Keith, over that The Christian Mind was the first person to try and get me to read a Jerry Bridges book. He recommended The Joy of Fearing God. I was wrestling with God then and didn't want to be convicted, so I postponed reading it... indefinitely. Next, David King suggested that I read Pursuit of Holiness. I declined for a while and then saw it in a sale bin and picked it up. It was wonderful. Before I knew it I had several of his books and even had to read The Joy of Fearing God while studying for my master's in biblical counseling.

Carla over at Reflections of the Times recommended Respectable Sins. At first I was excited by the idea. Then everything God was bringing into my life had to do about repentance. Everything. When God repeats something He is usually trying to get your attention. I began skillfully avoiding what I knew would be a convicting read. I didn't get away with it for long. I also began to wonder why something so in line with my view on counseling would be something I avoided so strenuously. The answer? Fear. Not the reverential fear of God that I learned about from reading Bridges' previous works, but the not entirely baseless fear of having my identity lost completely or having things I like taken away. This is one of the reasons I want to do some posts on fear.

Meanwhile, encouraged by Carla (who said it would 'get me-in all the right places'), my resolve strengthened and fueled by prayer, I have started reading. You'll never guess what one of the topics Bridges addresses in the first chapters of the book. If you said fear, you're right.

No comments: