Sometimes this world is ugly and I don't want to be here any more. I know this seems a sharp contrast from the post I made here about how everything we do matters. It's not really. I still believe those words. In times like these, I cling to them. It's just that I know that heaven will be so much nicer. Here I am free from the penalty and power of sin, there I will be free from the presence of sin and sin is very ugly business.
Today my oldest girl miscarried her baby boy. She was 5 1/2 months pregnant. I am heartbroken for her and her husband, they are grieving the loss of their son. I am grieving the loss of my second grandchild. His death was traumatic and trauma always changes people. Always. I know that this is something that his parents will survive, but they will never be the same, nor should they be. Life can and will be good again. There will be time to enjoy the blooms of spring and the warmth of sunshine on their faces. Time will pass and the pain will subside but this side of heaven, there will always be the grief and loss of a beautiful baby boy.
I try not to ask why. Instead I remember what truths I know about God. He is a good, kind, loving God. Nothing he does is capricious. I honestly believe this baby's life counts. His brief time here has united the ties we have as a family. He's taught me to be tender and compassionate in a new way. He's driven me to my knees to pray for his mom and dad.
When hard things happen there is only one place to go for comfort. Only the Sovereign God of the universe who makes everything count together for good can offer the necessary solace. I don't have to understand it all to have hope. God has his reasons.
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