22 June 2008

Prone to Wander

There are certain hymns that make me cry from somewhere deep within my soul. It's not the melody nor the association with hearing them at someone's funeral that triggers the tears. It's the words. I can scarcely hold myself together when it comes to certain stanzas. We sang one at church today. In Christ Alone. It's an amazing hymn, and I get all choked up right from the start, but it is this verse that undoes me:
No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow'r of Christ in me; From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand; Till He returns or calls me home— Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

It's a new
er hymn, but it's a good one. Augustus Toplady would certainly approve of the hymns Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend are writing. They are full of the meat of the gospel. Another one that renders me speechless is Come Thou Fount.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, bind my wand’ring heart to Thee;
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it; seal it for Thy courts above.

I am prone to wander. I am prone to leave the God I claim to love. I am so willing to give up the fight and settle for a life that flows like water- following the path of least resistance. The fact that I manage to read the Word or pray at all is testimony to His faithfulness, not mine. I would leave this Christian life behind in a heart beat if it were up to me. It's too hard because there is nothing I can do to merit God's love and forgiveness. I cannot be good enough, I can't work hard enough, I can't rescue enough people nor give enough money away to charity. He is the God I cannot please.... without faith... and faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.... and in His Word He tells me that faith is a free gift. Free. A free gift.

My pride wants to refuse it because like a two year old child my flesh screams "I can do it myself!" My pride makes it difficult for me to accept the smallest help. When it comes to my salvation my pride is no match for the need I have that I cannot fill. I know who I am. I know the darkness of my heart and the inclination of my desires. Without Christ, I am a dead woman.

Hebrews 11:6
6 And without faith it is impossible to please {Him} for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and {that} He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

Romans 10:17
17 So faith {comes} from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.

Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, {it is} the gift of God;
9 not as a result of works, that no one should boast.

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