Skip to main content

5 Terrible T's

The very best thing about us is often the very worst thing about us, depending on how we apply it. My tenacity is stubbornness when misapplied. The gift of helps can label you a godsend or be seen as the gift of enablement or 'buttinski' if you employ it on your own terms. We are capable of the very best and the very worst all at once. When it comes to relationships there are five things that will help you build or destroy those you love. I call them the Terrible T's. There are 5 T's that will strengthen relationships or lead to the big T of Temptation.

Time. Our first T begins when we start sharing our time with others. We all share time with people. We share time with our co-workers, our grocery store cashiers, the people who do our hair, the dentist, doctor, family... you share time with many folks and in many ways. Sharing time with someone is not a bad or evil thing, in fact it can be a wonderful blessing. The more time you spend with someone the more likely you will be to find yourself using the next four T's.

Talk. When we spend time with people we talk to them. Very few of us will spend more than a few minutes with someone and say nothing. Even taking into account that many are shy and would rather say as little as possible, we still talk. We are communicative beings. We will eventually exchange a verbal pleasantry even if that's all we do. Talking isn't evil, but we do need to monitor what we say to whom and how we say it.

Trust. If we spend enough time with someone and if they have talked enough that we are able to be at ease with them, we begin to trust them. The more pleasantries are exchanged and the more we find similarities between us when we talk the more we relax and the less guarded we become. Trust is certainly not a bad thing. Our problems usually arise because we have developed trust that is blind to the danger of sharing too much, too soon and with the wrong person.

Transparency. When we spend time talking and developing trust we are less likely to be guarded. We expose our inner thoughts and most vulnerable secrets. Transparency feels good when you trust the person you are spending time with. Transparency certainly isn't a bad thing as long as we keep in mind who we are allowing to see us so intimately.

Touch. Most people need to be touched. We crave it because it is a good thing. Even folks who have been abused and are fearful of being touched will tell you that safe touch, safe hugs are like the balm of Gilead to a battered soul. Touching can be completely benign and yet, there is an intimacy that occurs with even the purest touch. We turn to people and not God for this physical touch, often looking for Christ with skin on.

Intimacy drives our needs and we find it when we employ Time, Talk, Trust, Transparency and Touch. We must always be cautious of our flesh creeping in. Usually Christians can recite the Fruit of the Spirit, but can they identify the Fruit of the Flesh that are listed just a few verses above? (Galatians 5: 19-21). There are more warnings in Scripture about our flesh leading us away from God than there are warnings for Satan, enemy of our souls. Why? Because we so easily forget that we are tainted with sin. We take natural and good drives like the drive we have for intimacy and we distort them, trying to fill them in a worldly way. The true intimacy our souls seek is intimacy with God and that is ours in Christ alone.

Psalm 63:8 My soul clings to Thee; Thy right hand upholds me.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven {but Thee} And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.

Isaiah 26:9 At night my soul longs for Thee, indeed, my spirit within me seeks Thee diligently; for when the earth experiences Thy judgments the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness

2 Chronicles 31:21 And every work which he began in the service of the house of God in law and in commandment, seeking his God, he did with all his heart and prospered.

Isa 26:9 At night my soul longs for Thee, indeed, my spirit within me seeks Thee diligently; for when the earth experiences Thy judgments the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness.

Deuteronomy 4:4 "But you who held fast to the LORD your God are alive today, every one of you.

Psalm 119:116 Sustain me according to Thy word, that I may live; and do not let me be ashamed of my hope.


Turretinfan said…
I was so glad when I came to "Touch" and realized that a certain IRC nick wasn't going to be in the top 5.



Popular posts from this blog

Procrastination- Propaganda- Profundity

When I am studying something that bothers me, I do just about anything I can to stall. In doing so I stumble upon a lot of odd information. I love history and any student of history will tell you that most everything we are familiar with has had an odd beginning. Sometimes there will be different odd stories regarding the genesis of a myth, folkway or idiom. Somewhere in the mix the truth can be found. You just have to look.

While I lived in Australia I went to a visit a little town on the Murray River called Echuca. Echuca has a wonderful history and boasts the largest collection of paddle steamers in the world. It also has a coach house and carriage museum. It was during my visit to the carriage museum that I was told the origin of the expression to 'drop off to sleep.' According the docent, the carriage cheap seats were the ones outside and on the back. You had a platform to sit on and a rope or rail to hang onto for dear life. During a long trip a poor unfortun…

Sleep Snorkel Surprise

Summer colds. Blech! Is there anything more annoying that being too hot and having your nose run like Bridalveil Fall? Probably but nothing comes to mind right now. My nose is red and raw from all the sneezing and blowing and I have been using Puff's. Imagine if I had some generic sandpaper tissue instead? I could probably die from the pain. Death by runny nose rough tissue rhinoplasty.
I went to bed very early last night because I was feeling miserable. I have sleep apnea and therefore sleep with a bipap machine that keeps from crumping in my sleep. Now, I love my little bipap machine. I got it after my near death experience a few years ago when the nurses in the ICU turned me in to the doctor because I never slept. Once I was released from the hospital they sent me for a sleep study. I had to do it twice because they wait for you to fall to sleep and monitor your breathing in order to decide if you need a machine. Generally they try different types of machines and differe…

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome / Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder FAS/FASD and the Need for Biblical Counseling Material

On January 31, 2008, I wrote a post on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FAS/FASD).  That was nearly six years ago. A lot has happened in our world during those six years. I honestly expected to find some biblical counseling information on FAS/FASD.  Unfortunately, among those who are foremost in providing resources for biblical counselors; those who publish scholarly articles in the Journal of Biblical Counseling; provide resources for NANC, and write books that help us look at the problems in our lives through a biblical lens,  there has yet to be an article, sermon or book written specifically on how to help someone with FAS/FASD.  I am hoping using their information will lead them to this article and they will consider changing this. We need material on FAS/FASD from a biblical perspective.

Recently I have been contacted by a couple of different people who stumbled upon my blog looking for biblical counseling resources specific to parenting children with…