5 Terrible T's

The very best thing about us is often the very worst thing about us, depending on how we apply it. My tenacity is stubbornness when misapplied. The gift of helps can label you a godsend or be seen as the gift of enablement or 'buttinski' if you employ it on your own terms. We are capable of the very best and the very worst all at once. When it comes to relationships there are five things that will help you build or destroy those you love. I call them the Terrible T's. There are 5 T's that will strengthen relationships or lead to the big T of Temptation.

Time. Our first T begins when we start sharing our time with others. We all share time with people. We share time with our co-workers, our grocery store cashiers, the people who do our hair, the dentist, doctor, family... you share time with many folks and in many ways. Sharing time with someone is not a bad or evil thing, in fact it can be a wonderful blessing. The more time you spend with someone the more likely you will be to find yourself using the next four T's.

Talk. When we spend time with people we talk to them. Very few of us will spend more than a few minutes with someone and say nothing. Even taking into account that many are shy and would rather say as little as possible, we still talk. We are communicative beings. We will eventually exchange a verbal pleasantry even if that's all we do. Talking isn't evil, but we do need to monitor what we say to whom and how we say it.

Trust. If we spend enough time with someone and if they have talked enough that we are able to be at ease with them, we begin to trust them. The more pleasantries are exchanged and the more we find similarities between us when we talk the more we relax and the less guarded we become. Trust is certainly not a bad thing. Our problems usually arise because we have developed trust that is blind to the danger of sharing too much, too soon and with the wrong person.

Transparency. When we spend time talking and developing trust we are less likely to be guarded. We expose our inner thoughts and most vulnerable secrets. Transparency feels good when you trust the person you are spending time with. Transparency certainly isn't a bad thing as long as we keep in mind who we are allowing to see us so intimately.

Touch. Most people need to be touched. We crave it because it is a good thing. Even folks who have been abused and are fearful of being touched will tell you that safe touch, safe hugs are like the balm of Gilead to a battered soul. Touching can be completely benign and yet, there is an intimacy that occurs with even the purest touch. We turn to people and not God for this physical touch, often looking for Christ with skin on.

Intimacy drives our needs and we find it when we employ Time, Talk, Trust, Transparency and Touch. We must always be cautious of our flesh creeping in. Usually Christians can recite the Fruit of the Spirit, but can they identify the Fruit of the Flesh that are listed just a few verses above? (Galatians 5: 19-21). There are more warnings in Scripture about our flesh leading us away from God than there are warnings for Satan, enemy of our souls. Why? Because we so easily forget that we are tainted with sin. We take natural and good drives like the drive we have for intimacy and we distort them, trying to fill them in a worldly way. The true intimacy our souls seek is intimacy with God and that is ours in Christ alone.

Psalm 63:8 My soul clings to Thee; Thy right hand upholds me.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven {but Thee} And besides Thee, I desire nothing on earth.

Isaiah 26:9 At night my soul longs for Thee, indeed, my spirit within me seeks Thee diligently; for when the earth experiences Thy judgments the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness

2 Chronicles 31:21 And every work which he began in the service of the house of God in law and in commandment, seeking his God, he did with all his heart and prospered.

Isa 26:9 At night my soul longs for Thee, indeed, my spirit within me seeks Thee diligently; for when the earth experiences Thy judgments the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness.

Deuteronomy 4:4 "But you who held fast to the LORD your God are alive today, every one of you.

Psalm 119:116 Sustain me according to Thy word, that I may live; and do not let me be ashamed of my hope.