30 October 2008

Coffee with Ben Stein

I had what I thought was a brilliant idea and I can't seem to make myself do it. Laziness or the Lord's intervention? I don't know. I have written a note to the doctors who did my surgery. I wanted to tell them how much I appreciate their skill and care, but mostly I wanted to tell them that all the events that took place to bring me to the emergency room were carefully orchestrated by God and that he had chosen them to be the tools He would use to save my life. I want to encourage them that their sacrifices to become surgeons have been an excellent way to use the skills and abilities God has given them. Here's the idea I had.... I wanted them to see how many people's lives they touch when they operate on someone. I thought I would ask all the folks who care about me to write to them and encourage them by saying thank you. I want it to be completely about the doctors and not me, but I can't seem to solidify or carry through with this idea. I would really like to bless this husband and wife surgeon team but I am stuck.

Ever been stuck? How do you determine when it is the Lord holding you back or your own procrastination or other character flaw rising to the surface?

I had nightmares last night. I dreamt of being in a house I was sharing with people I don't know and there was gun fire, people playing with guns in unsafe ways. I also discovered body parts hidden in various places in the house. I was terrified that I would be charged with homicide and debated whether or not to call the authorities. I was bitterly disappointed in my dream because I went along with the other people in the house and remained quiet. How could I do that, especially after working in law enforcement for over a decade? I need a Joseph to tell me what that dream meant.....or to forget it and never dream anything like that again.

I feel sort of dazed and confused. My friends tell me to lighten up on myself, I just had major surgery and need time to recover. You know what I fear? I fear being one of those people folks talk about and say, "She was never quite the same after that emergency surgery." Only they don't mean that I was kinder, gentler or wiser. They don't mean that I was obviously closer to my God. What they mean is my intellect has misfired and I never could put a cogent thought together after my surgery.

I think I need more coffee. I rented the dvd Expelled. Perhaps I'll spend some time with Ben Stein and get back to you. I'll leave you all with this question. If pro generally defines a positive position or stance why is procrastination a negative thing?

3 comments:

Becky, a slave of Christ said...

Honestly, Rosemarie, you sound like all your marbles are firmly in place; you have been through so much, give yourself some time to heal. The medications alone probably mess with your thought processes and it takes a while for them to clear out; trust God.

Concerning your nightmare: don’t beat yourself up for it. We can’t really control what dreams come along, we can only control what we do with them after we wake up. I think that dreams manifest how amazingly complex and imaginative these brains God created are. In the case of the ugly ones, and I have had some that would rival some of the worst horror flicks out there, I believe they illustrate the reality of the depths of our depravity.

Personally, I wouldn’t pursue trying to interpret the nightmare; it is just subjective stuff outside of Scripture. My recommendation is that you dwell on the richness of God’s word, and the blessings He has poured down on you, and leave thoughts of the nightmare behind.

On a vocabulary note: Crastination

rosemarie said...

Becky,

I couldn't agree more about the nightmare. It was no doubt brought on by watching CSI and being on medications. I was being a bit tongue in cheek and should have been clearer about that.

Thanks for the encouragement and the reminder to focus on God's blessings. I am grateful for these events in my life that are causing me to see anew the many blessings in my life and the way God orchestrates everything to bring them about. He is so merciful!

Grace Baptist Church, Somerset, KY said...

And if Ben Stein doesn't make you feel better (and a bit sad for our education system) then nothing will. He has been one of my favorites for years.

Hope you have better dreams tonight.

Pastor Bill