Skip to main content

Altered by Sanctification

I have lost my identity. I was Rosemarie the Opinionated. Rosemarie the Certain. I have been known as Rosemarie do the Right Thing and told I had an uncanny ability to discern what the right thing was. I have become someone else. My opinions are muddled. My way is unsure. The real question I have to answer is whether my identity has been stolen from me or have I given it away? Is who I am being altered by sanctification and I am feeling the growing pains of the woman I am becoming? Have I been seeing through a glass dimly? Have I been blown off course?

Lately, I have that horrible feeling of unrest that comes from unspoken sorrow. I am reaping the sour fruit of unspoken words. Somewhere deep in my soul there's a kettle full of self-pity and disappointment simmering over a fire fueled by the bitterness of missed opportunity and realizing my insignificance. Can someone explain to me, like I am a two year old, how a Christian can be bought with so high a price as Jesus paid to redeem His own, and yet come to grips with how insignificant they are in the larger scheme of things.

I know the pat answer. I know that my significance comes from Christ and being in Him. I exist because of Him. I exist to worship and glorify Him. Is that to be played out on a sterile field? I think I was meant for more- to do more. Is that pride talking smack to my already overinflated ego or deep calling unto deep? Keep going I love you. Keep obliterating me, I love You too. Is that the tune I am dancing to? When I asked You to make me a good counselor, was I signing up for every crisis known to mankind? Is this dark abyss where I'll find the legend to a treasure map, the route of sanctification? Certification to guide others out? All of the above?

I need a new song, Lord. Rescue me from myself.



Psalm 143:10-11
10 Teach me to do Thy will, for Thou art my God; let Thy good Spirit lead me on level ground.
11 For the sake of Thy name, O LORD, revive me. In Thy righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.


Hebrews 13:20-21
20 Now the God of peace, who brought up from the dead the great Shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant, {even} Jesus our Lord,
21 equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom {be} the glory forever and ever. Amen.
(NAS)





Comments

jen said…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMEZRy_7018&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIqGbeM62kc&feature=related


Sorry you have to copy and paste the links.

I love you.
Vicki said…
Rozie-you are no different than the rest of us-just more honest I guess-I love that about you. I love you too, girlfriend. You always hit the right spot in your musings.

Popular posts from this blog

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome / Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder FAS/FASD and the Need for Biblical Counseling Material

On January 31, 2008, I wrote a post on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FAS/FASD).  That was nearly six years ago. A lot has happened in our world during those six years. I honestly expected to find some biblical counseling information on FAS/FASD.  Unfortunately, among those who are foremost in providing resources for biblical counselors; those who publish scholarly articles in the Journal of Biblical Counseling; provide resources for NANC, and write books that help us look at the problems in our lives through a biblical lens,  there has yet to be an article, sermon or book written specifically on how to help someone with FAS/FASD.  I am hoping using their information will lead them to this article and they will consider changing this. We need material on FAS/FASD from a biblical perspective.

Recently I have been contacted by a couple of different people who stumbled upon my blog looking for biblical counseling resources specific to parenting children with…

Common Denominator

It has been nearly a year and a half since I have written a blog post. Time may fly when you're having fun, but it also whizzes by when you're out of control.  Perhaps because being out of control masquerades as fun? Trust me, it's not.

I almost don't know where and how to begin blogging again. I enjoy writing and the mere act of letting my fingers sort out words helps me identify what's really going on inside.  One of the dangers of living alone is not having other folks daily reflecting back to me who I am and not who I pretend to be.  I need people rubbing up next to me to help me recognize the rough spots. It takes others showing me my inconsistencies and irritating the snot out of  me to help me acknowledge my besetting sins. It's therapeutic and the way God has designed it for all of us.

During the last year or so my life has imploded on several fronts. I may have looked OK from the outside but on the inside I was certifiable.  I have had blowouts with fr…

It's all part of growing up

Today is my birthday. I am 51. I have officially lived longer than my mother. I have survived several major earthquakes, three fires, five floods, uterine cancer, having my infant body burned by percolating coffee and a childhood from hell. I have been stalked by a madman, been asked to be interviewed for the Australian version of 60 Minutes, received a bronze medal and helped foil a kidnap attempt of a celebrity. In my short 51 years, I have had an incredible life.

I was asked by a former student what advice I would give a 30 year old that I have come to value now that I am in my 50s. The list of things that I value now that I didn't value then and vice versa is huge. Since my current topic is discipline, I would have to say that I wish I had cultivated discipline at an earlier age. Much earlier than my 30s. I wish I had learned the difference between need and want sooner. I have tried too hard to fulfill wants as if they were needs. The want vacuum just moves, it doesn&#…