29 March 2011

Discomforture- The Stuff of Nightmares

The danger sign devoid of meaning flashing brightly in a language you don't speak. The unsettled feeling that something is wrong but words are inadequate to describe what that might be. Thinking you're hungry and going to the refrigerator to graze, but finding nothing worth eating on the shelves- no matter how many of your recently favorite foods are located inside. Jumbled feelings. Longing for something you cannot identify. Wanting someone you have never known to hug you. Shield you. Translate the message that makes your skin crawl but bounces off your intellect. The dream that doesn't make sense but leaves your heart racing with the anticipation of something evil being closer than you can see. Tears that escape. Sobs that can't find their way to the surface. Discontent. Anxiety. Fear. Sorrow. Spun together like cheap paint and splattered Pollock style on your soul.

What is it? Why is it? Where did it spring from? I don't know. Something I ate? Something I saw? A thought not held captive? Taproot of bitterness? Iceberg of doubt? Struggling to get back to where things made sense.


Psalm 139:11-13
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night,"
12 Even the darkness is not dark to Thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike {to Thee.}
13 For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb.

Prov 17:28 Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is {counted} prudent.

Daniel 2:20-22
20 Daniel answered and said, "Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever, for wisdom and power belong to Him.
21 "And it is He who changes the times and the epochs; He removes kings and establishes kings; He gives wisdom to wise men, and knowledge to men of understanding.
22"It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things; He knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with Him.

Hebrews 4:13-16
13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.
14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession.
15 For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as {we are, yet} without sin.
16 Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need.
(NAS)

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