Somebody Squeezed My Sponge...

....and dirty water came out.

I was pretty heavily medicated yesterday and that made it more difficult for me to practice self-control. I have difficulty doing that on a good day, but with inhibitions removed I have found my calling; I am mean. One of my professors once said, "When you squeeze a sponge and dirty water comes out, it's not the pressure that made the water dirty, the dirt was there to begin with." It's really true. It isn't the (prescribed) controlled substances that make me cranky. I am pretty much cranky to begin with.

As I sit here today I think I am experiencing a prescription drug hang-over. It's hard to tell, my brain is so fuzzy these days no matter what I am taking. I wish you could see my office. It truly looks like a madman decorated it using a fragmentation grenade and a dust buffalo scatter gun. I believe I took my life in my hands trying to get to the desk. Ever seen "Hoarders?" Consider my office looking like something you would see on "Hoarders in Training." I need to find the "umph" and the "want to" to put it into some semblance of order. There is a double pedestal roll top desk, an old one that will not accommodate a computer, literally sitting in the middle of the room. Junk is piled high on all sides. Things are in such a state of disarray I can't know where to begin to make things right.

What I want to do is read a book. This is a perfect day for sitting on the front porch, letting the dogs wander about the yard, while I lounge in the 'zero-gravity' chaise lounge. I have an ever growing list of things I want to do and unfortunately it is being encumbered by the list of things I should do. Stupid guilt glands! Unfortunately the list of things I should be doing mirrors the list of things the doctors have told me not to do. Nice predicament, ain't it?

So, I am going to do something today, even if it's wrong. Maybe I will put the disc of Romans from my Bible on audio on and listen to it, over and over again. Romans is a great tool for getting the dirt out of your sponge.

Romans 8:1-8

¹There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.^[a] ²For the law of^(A) the Spirit of life^(B) has set you^[b] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³For^(C) God has done what the law,^(D) weakened by the flesh,^(E) could not do.^(F) By sending his own Son^(G) in the likeness of sinful flesh and^(H) for sin,^[c] he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴in order that^(I) the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us,^(J) who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. ⁵For^(K) those who live according to the flesh set their minds on^(L) the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on^(M) the things of the Spirit. ⁶For to set^(N) the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷For the mind that is set on the flesh is^(O) hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law;^(P) indeed, it cannot. ⁸Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

Be yourself- don't waste your blog...

So... I read an article on my friend, Carla's blog . I have written about her on my blog before and have recommended her before. In this particular post she talks about one blogger's vision for a directory of Christian bloggers to help promote accountability. Which, on the surface sounds all good and 'Christianly' but Carla has reservations. Then I read the comments for her article and Steve Camp of Camp onThis fame has responded. I have also recommended his blog a number of times. For those of you who don't want to click the links, this is a brief synopsis. Some guy wants to have a Christian bloggers directory for accountability purposes, Carla questions the need since accountability begins in the bloggers local church, and she fears it will set up a click of bloggers who are "in" and those who are "out." Steve drives the point home and signs his comment "Don't waste your blog..." That's the part that has me spinning....

Super Church a song for the Emergent-sy

In the early 70s I was in a youth choir at my church. Our youth pastor was a musician and his way of connecting with us as a group was through the choir and music. Somehow there was an affiliation between him and The Continental Singers, New Hope and Jeremiah People. He was worked with Moishe Rosen of Jews for Jesus too, I think. Are any of these names familiar to you? Though I remember the church fondly I was a profoundly lost and troubled young woman during my years there. That and time have muddled the memories quite a bit. Today I was digging through some old paperwork and one of the books to the musical we did. It's Getting Late For the Great Planet Earth, a folk rock oratorio by Cam Floria. Yes, that's right. Cam Floria put Hal Lindsey to music. There's a lot to laugh about and some to groan about but as I was looking through the songs and remembering, I found this little ditty and I only wish I could sing it for you. Just remember that this is circa 1972 and even th...

Bruised, Battered, Blessed

The hard times of life. The times when your are bruised and raw. When it hurts to breathe and each beat of your heart feels like it is sending glass shards through your soul. That's when it happens and you know. Your circumstances are horrible. You cannot imagine why everything has gone so horribly wrong all at once and in a nanosecond you are transported from the abject poverty of puny faith and hopelessness to knowing that you are safely tucked under God's wing. You know that all of your doubts to the contrary cannot keep you from His grace and mercy when He chooses to bestow it upon you. I have had some of the hardest months of my life thus far come crashing down on me like waves, forming a tsunami of circumstances. Circumstances way beyond of my control, threatening to take my feet out from under me. The last three days have been full of anguish for me. My sister called and through her sobs and heartbreak all I could understand were the words, "Daddy is dying....

rambling rosemarie

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