16 June 2011

Somebody Squeezed My Sponge...

....and dirty water came out.

I was pretty heavily medicated yesterday and that made it more difficult for me to practice self-control. I have difficulty doing that on a good day, but with inhibitions removed I have found my calling; I am mean. One of my professors once said, "When you squeeze a sponge and dirty water comes out, it's not the pressure that made the water dirty, the dirt was there to begin with." It's really true. It isn't the (prescribed) controlled substances that make me cranky. I am pretty much cranky to begin with.

As I sit here today I think I am experiencing a prescription drug hang-over. It's hard to tell, my brain is so fuzzy these days no matter what I am taking. I wish you could see my office. It truly looks like a madman decorated it using a fragmentation grenade and a dust buffalo scatter gun. I believe I took my life in my hands trying to get to the desk. Ever seen "Hoarders?" Consider my office looking like something you would see on "Hoarders in Training." I need to find the "umph" and the "want to" to put it into some semblance of order. There is a double pedestal roll top desk, an old one that will not accommodate a computer, literally sitting in the middle of the room. Junk is piled high on all sides. Things are in such a state of disarray I can't know where to begin to make things right.

What I want to do is read a book. This is a perfect day for sitting on the front porch, letting the dogs wander about the yard, while I lounge in the 'zero-gravity' chaise lounge. I have an ever growing list of things I want to do and unfortunately it is being encumbered by the list of things I should do. Stupid guilt glands! Unfortunately the list of things I should be doing mirrors the list of things the doctors have told me not to do. Nice predicament, ain't it?

So, I am going to do something today, even if it's wrong. Maybe I will put the disc of Romans from my Bible on audio on and listen to it, over and over again. Romans is a great tool for getting the dirt out of your sponge.

1There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[a] 2For the law of(A) the Spirit of life(B) has set you[b] free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3For(C) God has done what the law,(D) weakened by the flesh,(E) could not do.(F) By sending his own Son(G) in the likeness of sinful flesh and(H) for sin,[c] he condemned sin in the flesh, 4in order that(I) the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us,(J) who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5For(K) those who live according to the flesh set their minds on(L) the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on(M) the things of the Spirit. 6For to set(N) the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7For the mind that is set on the flesh is(O) hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law;(P) indeed, it cannot. 8Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

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