22 July 2011

Small is Good

Last night I watched the heat lightning and it reminded me of crumpled saran wrap that had somehow had been electrified and was being stretched and straightened across the sky, releasing sparks as it gained tension. Moments like last night leave me breathless, longing for something I cannot identify and feeling small. Very small. .

Tonight I did some barbecuing in the dark. I had some chicken that needed to be cooked or given up for lost and it has been way too hot to be out on the deck cooking. I don't do well in the heat. I like 70 degrees with a light breeze. I do not like 89 with relative humidity of 90+ and heat indices of 110. You can't always get what you want. But I did get to see some more lightning so it's all good.

Thursday I saw the doctor to receive what I thought would be a diagnoses of celiac sprue. According to the tests I do not have celiac sprue. I was kind of disappointed because I had reasoned it all out in my mind and with the help of Dr. Google that that was what was causing me my physical discomforts and simply eating a gluten free diet would set me right. It's odd but I was sort of disappointed to be told I was healthy and normal in all but one area. My blood shows that I have inflammation occurring in my body somewhere. Now we just have to find it.

God knows exactly what is causing my distress. He knows where the inflammation is and He knows how to heal it. He may or may not choose to heal me, but He definitely knows how. God's sovereignty is another thing that makes me feel small. Small is good.

No comments: