Skip to main content

Bumpers of Conviction

Ever have one of those days where everything you read convicts you? I feel like I am a pinball and I am being launched with sparks, bell rings and little bursts of energy into the bumpers of conviction that surround me. Never thought of my spiritual journey like a pinball game but that's sort of a perfect analogy for today. I keep being bounced about, falling into holes only to be shot out from the other side of my tiny universe into the next bit of truth or obstacle. I don't mean to sound disrespectful nor do I want to be guilty of blasphemy, but I can actually picture the Holy Spirit using His flippers to keep me in the field of play. Of course His aim is spot on. I've never thought about the sting that little silver ball feels until now. Conviction is sweet but it costs a bit of your backside sometimes.

The ladies bible study I am leading is something I spend a lot of time grousing about. I love the ladies and the time I get to spend with them. They are a sharp group and they keep me honest. I don't mean to make you think I grouse about them at all. It's the book we are using. I take offense at the author's use of terms like "partnering with God" and "allowing the Holy Spirit." I am always ready to correct her. "Ladies, we do not allow God to do anything, we submit to Him! He allows us to breathe!" Or, "We are not partners with God we are partakers of His grace. Big difference!" Ptooey! Take that for your smarmy, seeker sensitive vocabulary! Always ready with my doctrinal white out I feel like Graham Norton with my hand poised over the lever while an audience member sits in the little red chair and tells a story. Say one thing I don't like and poof! You're gone! If you're thinking I have been manifesting the sin of pride, you may have a flair for the obvious.

So then, imagine my surprise to end this week's work with a "Pzoom! Ding! Ding! Ding!" -in your face- face palm of conviction; one born from reading the words of the very same author I have been correcting. Oh yeah, she nailed me. I won't go into detail on what she said that convicted me, it was my conviction and not likely yours. Besides, it isn't what she wrote but that it was her words God used to whack me upside my pointy little proud head to get my attention. God uses means and in this case He used someone I wasn't expecting. Someone with whom I frankly thought I had a superior understanding of the Word. Not fair, God! I thought I was straightening out her points and You go convicting me with her words? Ouch! OK, I'll promise to do better!

Seriously, it's given me a lot to think about and, I dare say, repent over. To make certain that I do give myself pause, meditate over the truth and repent of my sinful attitudes, the next piece of studying I did involved this gem:

"....the moving cause of self-denial is the Lord and not man himself. Man is too deeply immersed in self-love to be able to rid himself from it. Even if he could divorce himself from this, he would not be able to bring himself into the opposite virtuous disposition." Wilhelmus àBrakel

I can't pick myself up and dust myself off. I can't change things simply because I will it. The only way this gets better is for God to do it. I am completely dependent on His mercy and His desire to sanctify me.

1Thessalonians 5:23-24 Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24 He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

And it's a good thing He is faithful and will complete the work He began in me. Next time you get the feeling God is playing "whack-a-mole" with you remember it is for your benefit and His glory. Conviction is a good thing.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Procrastination- Propaganda- Profundity

When I am studying something that bothers me, I do just about anything I can to stall. In doing so I stumble upon a lot of odd information. I love history and any student of history will tell you that most everything we are familiar with has had an odd beginning. Sometimes there will be different odd stories regarding the genesis of a myth, folkway or idiom. Somewhere in the mix the truth can be found. You just have to look.

While I lived in Australia I went to a visit a little town on the Murray River called Echuca. Echuca has a wonderful history and boasts the largest collection of paddle steamers in the world. It also has a coach house and carriage museum. It was during my visit to the carriage museum that I was told the origin of the expression to 'drop off to sleep.' According the docent, the carriage cheap seats were the ones outside and on the back. You had a platform to sit on and a rope or rail to hang onto for dear life. During a long trip a poor unfortun…

Sleep Snorkel Surprise

Summer colds. Blech! Is there anything more annoying that being too hot and having your nose run like Bridalveil Fall? Probably but nothing comes to mind right now. My nose is red and raw from all the sneezing and blowing and I have been using Puff's. Imagine if I had some generic sandpaper tissue instead? I could probably die from the pain. Death by runny nose rough tissue rhinoplasty.
I went to bed very early last night because I was feeling miserable. I have sleep apnea and therefore sleep with a bipap machine that keeps from crumping in my sleep. Now, I love my little bipap machine. I got it after my near death experience a few years ago when the nurses in the ICU turned me in to the doctor because I never slept. Once I was released from the hospital they sent me for a sleep study. I had to do it twice because they wait for you to fall to sleep and monitor your breathing in order to decide if you need a machine. Generally they try different types of machines and differe…

Super Church a song for the Emergent-sy

In the early 70s I was in a youth choir at my church. Our youth pastor was a musician and his way of connecting with us as a group was through the choir and music. Somehow there was an affiliation between him and The Continental Singers, New Hope and Jeremiah People. He was worked with Moishe Rosen of Jews for Jesus too, I think. Are any of these names familiar to you? Though I remember the church fondly I was a profoundly lost and troubled young woman during my years there. That and time have muddled the memories quite a bit.

Today I was digging through some old paperwork and one of the books to the musical we did. It's Getting Late For the Great Planet Earth, a folk rock oratorio by Cam Floria. Yes, that's right. Cam Floria put Hal Lindsey to music. There's a lot to laugh about and some to groan about but as I was looking through the songs and remembering, I found this little ditty and I only wish I could sing it for you. Just remember that this is circa 1972 and even the…