23 February 2012

Sleepless with Sven

One of my favorite lines from the movie Titanic is delivered by a baffled man in steerage. Jack and Fabrizio, overjoyed with their good fortune at winning a poker hand and receiving two tickets for passage on Titanic's maiden voyage for their gamble, come tumbling into their prize berth and introduce themselves to their unsuspecting roommates. Surprised at the arrival of strangers one of the men looks at his friend and says, "Where's Sven?" Sven, having been cold cocked by his companion for betting their tickets and losing their voyage to the land of opportunity is nursing a black eye and what I am certain was bitter disappointment. He must have been in absolute disbelief.

Titanic has been making the rounds on HBO and I confess, depending on where they are with the story when I bump into it channel surfing, I am likely to watch. The story line itself isn't interesting to me. In fact it is pretty despicable. Of course if it's early in the movie and I get to hear my favorite line, I am in for at least that long but if I don't stop there I will watch until they hit the iceberg. I am captivated by the costuming and reproduction of the architectural details of the ship. I wouldn't say it was Kate Winslet's best work as an actress but she has never looked so beautiful as she did in that movie. Her gowns were amazing. The hats, the shoes the hair, it all dazzles me. I am also spellbound by the way the men and women in first class comport themselves. I have always thought good manners are the epitome of elegance. Rich or poor it doesn't cost anything to be respectful and winsome, but I digress.

I have insomnia and between that and my neck and back pain, I got very little sleep last night. On top of all that I tend to be a light sleeper and my old buddy, Chet the Wonder Dog, was having a rough night. He made some strange noises, strange enough that I had to get up and see what was going on. He was out of his bed and on the floor sort of flopping around. I only had the glow of the television to see by so I turned on a light and saw him, rolling and rubbing his face on the rug... I think. I hope. It's a cute thing he does when he's happy. The alternative is that he was having another stroke or seizure and neither of those options are OK with me. Because I couldn't be certain what he had been up to I was afraid to go to sleep. I wanted to keep an eye on him. I entered more time on the sleep timer and began to channel surf. Of course I managed to bump into the Titanic. I have been thinking about it ever since. Sometimes you can see or hear something multiple times and it has little or no impact on you and then one day, whamo! It's all you can do to function without thinking about it.

Before Chet stumbled from his bed, I was sleepless because I was worrying. I have not made an easy life for myself. It's peppered with bad decisions, the resulting scars and obstacles. I am disappointed in the content and quality of my life. I am disappointed with the content and quality of my character. I wouldn't have chosen to be where I am or who I am. It scares me when I consider as flawed as I am now I am a far better woman now than I was before God called me to Himself. Sanctification isn't easy but it beats the alternative.

I don't pretend to know why God has designed this path for me but He has. He knows best. He knows each intimate detail of my life. Nothing catches Him by surprise. I may not like who I am and where I am right now but I have the hope that something better is coming. I look forward to a wonderful outcome in eternity which eclipses the discomfort of a few minutes of disappointment here. Really, this is a fly speck on the eternal time line. I was reminding myself to look at the whole picture. That's when it hit me and I thought, I bet when Sven heard about the sinking of the Titanic he wasn't feeling disappointment over losing his ticket in a poker hand. I bet his battered ego and bruised jaw were a small price to pay for being alive on April 15, 1912.

I need to keep a Sven perspective.

Romans 8:28-29
28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Lamentations 3:31-33
For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men.

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