rambling rosemarie

I have had a series of topics I have thought about blogging. I haven't had the energy to sit down and write them. It really has been all I can do to sit and relay stories. That has actually been helpful to me, even if I am the only one who reads them. Writing stories about my life is cathartic. Cathartic catharsis. I wonder why writing is such a pressure release valve? You would think it would have something to do with connecting to the reader and yet blogging is for the most part an impersonal action for me. I have a few people who read what I write, but most folks stumble across my page in search of something else. According to my statistics it takes them less than a minute to discover I am not what they were looking for. I envy their discernment. I often thought I wanted to be a writer. I have had people tell me I should sit down and write a book. I don't know what I would write about if I did. There are so many things to read on the net, so many books available here tha...

Every once in a while you happen upon something on the web that you have been searching for and didn't know it. I just read an article by Providence Crowder entitled : "Testimonial of a Black Republican" It is a thought provoking read, please take the time to click and enjoy. Here is a teaser. " I don’t believe for one minute that God sides with either Democrats or Republicans, but it is up to Democrats and Republicans to side with God and stand against sin, much in the way the Republicans did when they stood against slavery. "

Summer colds. Blech! Is there anything more annoying that being too hot and having your nose run like Bridalveil Fall ? Probably but nothing comes to mind right now. My nose is red and raw from all the sneezing and blowing and I have been using Puff's. Imagine if I had some generic sandpaper tissue instead? I could probably die from the pain. Death by runny nose rough tissue rhinoplasty. I went to bed very early last night because I was feeling miserable. I have sleep apnea and therefore sleep with a bipap machine that keeps from crumping in my sleep. Now, I love my little bipap machine. I got it after my near death experience a few years ago when the nurses in the ICU turned me in to the doctor because I never slept. Once I was released from the hospital they sent me for a sleep study. I had to do it twice because they wait for you to fall to sleep and monitor your breathing in order to decide if you need a machine. Generally they try different types of machines and differe...

Last night I watched the heat lightning and it reminded me of crumpled saran wrap that had somehow had been electrified and was being stretched and straightened across the sky, releasing sparks as it gained tension. Moments like last night leave me breathless, longing for something I cannot identify and feeling small. Very small. . Tonight I did some barbecuing in the dark. I had some chicken that needed to be cooked or given up for lost and it has been way too hot to be out on the deck cooking. I don't do well in the heat. I like 70 degrees with a light breeze. I do not like 89 with relative humidity of 90+ and heat indices of 110. You can't always get what you want. But I did get to see some more lightning so it's all good. Thursday I saw the doctor to receive what I thought would be a diagnoses of celiac sprue. According to the tests I do not have celiac sprue. I was kind of disappointed because I had reasoned it all out in my mind and with the help of Dr. Google...

Ever have a day where you knew you could go one way or the other? I woke up this morning actually thinking I might be coming out of the cycle of whatever this is that is ailing me. The disease which has yet to be identified is definitely cyclical. What precipitates the cycles has yet to be determined but seriously, if I knew I would feel as bad every day as I have felt for the past two months I don't know what I would do. And although good days seem to be more and more rare when they do arrive it is enough to make me what to dance for joy, something like a funky cross between Snoopy and a prohibited touch down dance, you know? Today I got up and realized I had forgotten to give myself my weekly vitamin B12 injection. Part of my physical problem is a failing immune system. My body cannot synthesize B12 from the food I eat. It's an easy fix, but for some reason I forgot that yesterday was Manic Monday. I call it that because the lack of energy I have stems from having perni...

I went to bed at a decent hour and found myself unhappily awake at 0145hrs. That's right, 1:45 am. That doesn't even qualify for 0'dark thirty. I have been known to go to bed at that time more often than get up. I tried but couldn't return to sleep. I also could'n't think of anything productive to do in my zombie-like state so I stayed in bed and found my mind wandering. Sometimes the craziest things come to me when I am least expecting it. I found myself thinking about something I said to my pastors during a meeting we had regarding biblical counseling. I was rambling on about the importance of words and the differences between men and women in their communication styles. I called women word ninjas. "We're all sweetness and light until you don't do what we want and then we'll take you out with our tongues. I don't know why men put up with us, we're evil. We woman are word ninjas." That's the general gist. Why I was th...

So yesterday was one of my not so good days. It started out great. It was overcast, nice breeze, had recently rained and wasn't very hot. I couldn't sleep but there's not much you can do at 4:00am but wait for a decent hour. At 6:00am I went out with the dogs and decided I was fit enough to do some work in the garden. That was my first mistake. I love gardening. I haven't been able to garden because of my neck and back. Whatever mutinous plans my internal organs are carrying out haven't made it any easier for working outside . Yesterday though it was my favorite combination of conditions so I had to do it. The ground has been soaked with rain and there are some easy pulls out in the garden. One of the many things people who don't live in Kentucky don't know about Kentucky, at least this transplant didn't know it, is that Kentucky vegetation is jungle like. Ignore your garden at your own peril. Besides the invasive kudzu, a bad idea imported from J...

Of all the horrible things I have said about the media, I take two of them back... maybe even three. I am grateful for the interview ABC did with Jennifer Ford , juror number three in the Casey Anthony trial. She answered all my questions in my previous post, found here . I was also grateful for The View having the prosecuting attorney, Jeff Ashton, on their program. And lastly, I was glad to watch Barbara Walters interview Jose Baez, Casey Anthony's attorney . Mostly though, I am grateful for Jennifer Ford. Ms. Ford was able to give me exactly what I hoped for, the knowledge that finding Casey Anthony not guilty did not mean they believed she was completely innocent, but they could not be convinced by the evidence given to them that she had murdered her daughter, Caylee. Ms. Ford further convinced me that she had paid no attention to the unproven accusations of molestation. I was glad that she was the juror that was brave enough to discuss her opinions regarding the case...

Proving once again that juries are not as smart as we who only get to see the part of the trial that makes the news, Casey Anthony has been found not guilty of murdering her daughter, Caylee. I don't know what to make of this. Normally I would say that the jury was privy to information I was not and while I might not agree with their findings, I don't have enough information to form a cogent opinion. Especially if that opinion is based on information the media has provided. I think most journalists are despicable. This time, however, every fiber in my being wants to scream, "Are you, nuts? Of course she is guilty!" I want to ask the jurors if they are certain enough of their verdict that they are prepared to let this woman watch their children or grandchildren for say 31 days? I want to ask the prosecutors if they are as proud of their work now as they were before the verdict came down. I want to believe that people are not so terribly stupid as they seem and ...

Imagine my surprise to yesterday to find out that my blog had been removed. It was gone as in ceased to be. Like the proverbial parrot in the Monty Python skit, it was no longer with us. At first I was certain that I had been the victim of a prank, next that the senility I fear had, in fact, descended upon me before I hit the double nickles, which is way too soon even with my bad genetic history. I tried to follow all the directions that were on my dashboard, and ended up frustrated. There was some nonsense about not having signed into my account since 2007. Uh... I posted something the day before they deleted me. Next I was given some spammer and or purveyor of porn excuse. Uh, not unless I was hacked. Was I a hate monger? Did I wantonly violate copyright law? Not in this lifetime. At the urging of a friend and real blogger, I appealed to the blogspot gods , asking them nicely to return my blog and they did. All hail the blogspot gods! While I worship only the One True an...

The day before yesterday I had my EDG ( Esophagogastroduodenoscopy ) it wasn't really a bad test as far as tests go. The worst part is getting to the point where you actually go in and take the test. They give you what they call twilight anesthesia, you're out enough that you don't give a rip that they are putting a tube down your throat and not under long enough that they have to keep you for any length of time. I got watched for an hour afterward. You do have to have someone who will drive you to and from. I was fortunate enough to have my sister. We traded favors. She was my driver for my 'procedure' (Lord, forgive me but I crack up using that term as I sound just like my grandmother. I have to have some fun with this getting old and falling apart nonsense) and I drove her to the Lexington airport yesterday. It was a fair trade. She and I got the giggles in the hospital. I wore a coral colored shirt and it turns out so do the volunteers who walk you to and f...