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Showing posts from October, 2011

Forecast: Willing to be Willing

You know the old saying. Red skies at morning- sailors take warning. Red skies at night-a sailor's delight. Whatever storm that's plaguing me is waning. I can't think of any trick little saying about my mood though I have thought about it which is alarming. It's good to take inventory when you're frumped and wabbed. Let's see all the things that it might indicate. 1) Bad attitudes often demonstrate neglected soul work. Yeah, I have things I need to take care Check. Do I need to continue? Probably not until I take care of #1. Eventually I will be grateful that God never lets us off the hook. Until then I am only willing to be willing to be grateful. That's several steps ahead of what I was willing to be when last I wrote.

Storm Warnings

The wind has kicked up. Whatever storm is coming will not just pass over and die down. No, it seems intent on blowing my house down and leaving me completely naked and exposed. Whatever this is that I am sensing, it's not my definition of good. God doesn't really give a rip how I define things though. God is on His throne and does as He pleases. Is it a coincidence that this morning my attention has been drawn to two specific items available on the Internet? Since God's sovereignty eradicates things like probability, chance, luck and thereby obliterates coincidence I would have to say "no" but then my question was rhetorical. What are the items? The first one is here and it focuses on "taking your soul to task" which, I don't mind telling you I need to do. That said I am compelled to be honest enough to tell you I have no real intention of actually doing so. The other is found here and features Nancy Leigh DeMoss discussing Psalm 46 . I may ac...

Is It a Precipice?

There is a strange wind stirring in my soul. I wish I could find the appropriate words to describe what I mean. There's not a pending catastrophe or anything I am especially concerned about. There's nothing scheduled of any significance for me until next month and those are things I am looking forward to such as visits from old friends. It's not often I am rendered incapable of communicating. What I feel is akin to looking over the side and discovering you're much higher up than you realized but in this case, I didn't know I was climbing anything at all. You know the strange dream you have that is all too real and familiar feeling when you wake up? The sort that leaves you wondering what is real and what is not? That is close to how I feel. I don't know how I got here and don't know if I should be alarmed or excited. Am I standing at the edge of change? On the precipice of some major self-discovery? Am I headed for a fall? It's sort of like somethin...

Scorched Breakfast Detent

I burned my breakfast this morning. I make the same thing with some minor variations every morning. I saute sliced zucchini, asparagus, mushrooms or whatever veggies I may have on hand and then make a one egg and three egg white omelet. I slice some avocado, sprinkle some sharp cheddar cheese, dash some Frank's hot sauce on the top and finish it with a dollop of sour cream. Often I will add some fresh fruit to the plate and then I feast. For years I skipped breakfast. Then I read that skipping meals can make your body think it is starving, thus it holds on to every ounce of fat reserve so it can outlast the famine. Like I need its help in maintaining fat. Me, who can draw calories from the aroma of food cooking. I did my research and I began eating just a little something. In all honesty I felt better through the day. Then I was given medication to take in the morning with instructions to take it after eating a meal. Now I eat a huge breakfast. Between eating well and the new...

"180"

This is a movie everyone should watch. It's not easy but it is worth it.

Word Gravity and Winsomeness

There are few burdens more difficult to carry than the weight of harsh words on a weary soul. Perhaps the only thing harder to do is laying that burden down once you have received it. You cannot unhear words any more than you can unspeak them. Harsh words echo in your heart and reverberate in your soul for what seems like forever. If the right word spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver, unkind words are like spent plutonium rods embedded in your brain. I imagine you could be reading what I just wrote and thinking that someone had said something unkind to me. It would be a logical conclusion. It's not the things I have been told that cause my pensive reflection upon the gravity of words. It's remembering some of the things I have said. My tongue is sharp. There have been times I have taken a measure of pride in being able to deliver an insult that would cut the recipient to the bone but take them several moments to realize they had been wounded. I have repente...

Color Me Happy

It's been a while since I have written. None of my three readers has protested my absence so I am not certain why I should feel guilty about not writing. Blogging, like relationships, takes work and I imagine I am feeling a guilt akin to being neglectful of a friend or acquaintance. That and the fact that I genuinely enjoy writing have caused me to return. I have been focused on getting my health back to the extent that I can. I do not want to end my life a lump of flesh behind a computer monitor waxing poetic about the good old days or complaining bitterly about the stupidity of everyone that doesn't share my opinion. The physical misery I have been through these many months has been good for my soul. My body hasn't cared too much for it but that's often the way of things that are good for you. Isn't it? I have had to face my reluctance to be broken and vulnerable even with God. As if I could hide it from Him. Really? For a woman who enjoys a modicum of intellige...

Taller Rants

Listen, I am going to stand up tall and stick my neck out here and more than likely folks are going to pick up whatever ax they are grinding to take a swing at me. It's OK. I am not that fragile. In fact, I swing a pretty mean ax myself. Just fair warning that when I sit up tall I am going to rant. Here I go. Despite being a bible believing Christian, I am not a homophobe and you cannot make me one just because you label me so for adamantly disagreeing that homosexuality should be considered normal and accepted. No more than you can make me attend Pat Robertson's church or become a card carrying member of the hateful group of folks at Westboro Baptist. Seriously, I would sooner attend a gay pride parade in the middle of the Castro. I would know what to expect there and wouldn't be disappointed. There's nothing worse than expecting folks who profess to know and preach the Gospel acting like they've never read it. Especially when to believe it is to live it. Last ...